hello world. its been a long time.

many, many things have changed since my last blog post, and it'll be crazy for me to recount all that i've gone through these past few months, things that were happy and sad. well, to summarise everything, first of all would be that i've gone into a new dimension with regards to my army life. I've assumed my role as a platoon commander since graduating from OCS, which means, higher expectations on me, more work, greater stress levels and a hell lot of demanding men. but of course, being an officer comes with a lot of benefits as well, eg. more money, more freedom. i'm still in the process of adjusting though. and i say its difficult when your scope of work suddenly involves an additional 40 people. no more, me, myself, and I.

secondly, i've continued to pursue my love for choral music! and now i've found this great group of friends whom i've had lots of fun and laughter with for the last few months. Plus, all the late night suppers and talks, not forgetting all the wonderful singing moments. Thank God for these people, because without them i seriously have no idea what i'd be doing with my life at this moment, besides serving the nation fervently. now at least, i have something to look forward to on weekends and it seriously helps to push me forward, week after week. so thanks chorale people, for everything so far (:

sunday's a perfect time for emo blogging. because the next day comes the start of an entirely new week. recently, i've really found it difficult to find joy in my work. the reason probably being the lack of support and friendship that i'm getting from some of my colleagues. and i don't think i deserve any blame for this problem, because its not like i haven't been making any effort to accomodate these people, despite all their disgusting girl talks, irritating methods etc. Sometimes i even ask myself why i'm doing this. I just can't seem to click with their kind of talk, and sometimes, i can't even stand the look on some of their faces. i just wish for them to be more understanding, and not be so overly critical. the weeks ahead would be so much easier, if only i had people whom i feel like i can count on, people who can show more concern, beyond the minimum expected.

for now, i just hate the fact of having to work with some people, because its just so difficult, and irritating, and unenjoyable. there's no camaraderie, no shit whatsoever. feels like, every man for himself. or maybe its just me by myself? who knows. if only i could just escape and run away. i hate this!

if only i could escape and run away from these people. cut all ties. sometimes i just feel like doing that. or better, sometimes i feel like strangling them. but most of the time, i end up feeling like i have to hang on to whatever little friendship thats left. otherwise i might just end up being all alone. how did i even end up in this state! rah.

you might be thinking that i'm referring to quite a number of people, but actually, i'm only referring to 2 people. and to my dismay, these are the 2 people i have to work most with every single day. AH.

i seriously hope they don't read this. but gosh. the feeling of finally letting out something is totally awesome.

Labels: justcantcontrolmyself.

hello world. its been a long time.

many, many things have changed since my last blog post, and it'll be crazy for me to recount all that i've gone through these past few months, things that were happy and sad. well, to summarise everything, first of all would be that i've gone into a new dimension with regards to my army life. I've assumed my role as a platoon commander since graduating from OCS, which means, higher expectations on me, more work, greater stress levels and a hell lot of demanding men. but of course, being an officer comes with a lot of benefits as well, eg. more money, more freedom. i'm still in the process of adjusting though. and i say its difficult when your scope of work suddenly involves an additional 40 people. no more, me, myself, and I.

secondly, i've continued to pursue my love for choral music! and now i've found this great group of friends whom i've had lots of fun and laughter with for the last few months. Plus, all the late night suppers and talks, not forgetting all the wonderful singing moments. Thank God for these people, because without them i seriously have no idea what i'd be doing with my life at this moment, besides serving the nation fervently. now at least, i have something to look forward to on weekends and it seriously helps to push me forward, week after week. so thanks chorale people, for everything so far (:

sunday's a perfect time for emo blogging. because the next day comes the start of an entirely new week. recently, i've really found it difficult to find joy in my work. the reason probably being the lack of support and friendship that i'm getting from some of my colleagues. and i don't think i deserve any blame for this problem, because its not like i haven't been making any effort to accomodate these people, despite all their disgusting girl talks, irritating methods etc. Sometimes i even ask myself why i'm doing this. I just can't seem to click with their kind of talk, and sometimes, i can't even stand the look on some of their faces. i just wish for them to be more understanding, and not be so overly critical. the weeks ahead would be so much easier, if only i had people whom i feel like i can count on, people who can show more concern, beyond the minimum expected.

for now, i just hate the fact of having to work with some people, because its just so difficult, and irritating, and unenjoyable. there's no camaraderie, no shit whatsoever. feels like, every man for himself. or maybe its just me by myself? who knows. if only i could just escape and run away. i hate this!

if only i could escape and run away from these people. cut all ties. sometimes i just feel like doing that. or better, sometimes i feel like strangling them. but most of the time, i end up feeling like i have to hang on to whatever little friendship thats left. otherwise i might just end up being all alone. how did i even end up in this state! rah.

you might be thinking that i'm referring to quite a number of people, but actually, i'm only referring to 2 people. and to my dismay, these are the 2 people i have to work most with every single day. AH.

i seriously hope they don't read this. but gosh. the feeling of finally letting out something is totally awesome.

Labels: justcantcontrolmyself.