okay i haven't blogged in a gazilliontrillion years so i think its time make things come alive! muaha. not that i have anything to blog about at this moment currently. lol.

hmm what can i say? i'm trying to chiong finish harrypotter and maybe finish before guin does along the way but that doesn't seem to be happening because i have so many other stuff to do! like today when my @(#*$&(#%&* gp teacher suddenly told us that she wanted us to do a gp essay and hand up tmr. and that was like the only thing i did all day, besides going to bugis to collect ting's shirt plus buying another shirt for myself. spent like what 2 hours writing an essay on crime, which i've never touched before. haha. but of course with a phone chat in between.

gah. prelims is coming so fast i can feel it. but my birthday is coming even faster although somehow i'm not thinking about it. haha. thats for you guys to think i guess? WAHA. kidding lah. anyway my grandma just gave me a hongbao with 20 bucks inside. yay. haha. remembered she use to give me 100 bucks, but that was before she got into an accident and lost abit of her memory. haha oh well. not complaining (:

okay blog more next time. for now, i'm off to potter again. GOODBYE.

Labels: expelliamoos.

okay reading all the posts bout pattaya just made me emo again. gosh i really do miss that god-forsaken place, because the trip was special for many reasons. special because it was my LAST TRIP as a vjchoir member, and maybe because it was spent with alot of yr 1s. haha. its nice to blend it with the group, the yr 1s are a great lot.

i told sherwin the other day that vjchoir is probably the best thing that has ever happened to me in my life, and that still doesn't change. this journey with the choir has given me lots of new experiences, love, passion that i think i won't be able to find any more in the future. the friendships i've forged are all invaluable, although there may have been differences along the way. wow, but when you put everything together, you can't help but feel saddened that you finally have to leave this thing you hold so dearly to your heart behind.

and to think i joined choir by chance, the day i was supposed to go audition for drama instead. guess that it was all planned by God, and i can't be thankful enough.

whats even better is that even as a normal member without any post or anything, the amount of contributions you can make, the things you get back in return, are numerous as well. i've enjoyed doing many things for vjchoir, including playing all the retarded roles in every single real concert we've performed in, helping others with the notes and music, helping in choreography blahblahblah. but the one thing that i treasure most for being able to do is to pray, not just by myself, but as a choir.

the last prayer i said for the choir was just before our open mixed competition. and i guess during that time i only decided to ask everyone to join in prayer because i was constantly prompted to do so. but once the prayer started everything just started pouring in, the talents God had given to all of us to sing for this choir, the amazing warmth and trust that God provides when we're really in need, to be able to sing for his glory ultimately. Indeed, this choir has been blessed by God, abundantly.

well, enough about me. in actual fact, i think we year2s can leave this choir knowing that it will eventually be in good hands. i'm seriously amazed by how much the year1s have improved, not only in their singing ability. i just hope the same mistakes our batch made would not be repeated. and i'm really proud of all of you, year1s. (: thanks for allowing me to stick with you guys. haha.

and thanks to the yr 2s as well. because i'm really proud of our batch as well. we've come a long way, and i think this can be considered as quite a beautiful ending. onward to As!

a voyage of songs. how apt.

yup so i finally broke my silence on this blog. i'm seriously getting sick of this template of mine haha. but i've got no time to find a new one. shucks. and i quit doing my econs case study to type this entry, gotta chiong copy tmr. otherwise i'll get chased out of class.

time to get really worried about my studies! at least, i have much more time now! but i'm seriously not used to being so free lol. hopefully, i'll be smart enough to make use of every single second i have to my advantage. UNLIKE NOW.

okay no. i'm glad i typed this entry. yay. haha.

till next time then, readers of my blog (:

Labels: thejourneyhasended.

OKAY OFF TO PATTAYA! I DUNNO WHAT ELSE TO WRITE.

except

i hope i have fun and i hope that i can ride on the cameras of others. becos i'm not bringing one. haha. okay it seems like every sentence with ride sounds wrong nowadays.

take care everyone. i won't miss you people. hahaha.

but i know you will miss me :D

okay totally kidding. byeeeee last entry of this week.

Labels: farewell.

2 more days to pattaya.

gosh i AM looking forward to it. just to escape from this suddenly horrid world i'm living in, where everything seems to be turning sour.

haha nothing seems to be going right for me at this moment. this is so terrible.

and i'm frustrated by how fast this has become like nothing. gah.

this is such a whatever entry. i'm off!

Labels: letmebegone.

why. did this have to happen.
what. am i supposed to do or say.
which. am i supposed to feel.
who. am i supposed to turn to.
how. am i going to pretend that i'm okay when i'm not.

sigh. this is gonna be a struggle.

Labels: itsallgonnabehidden.

hey! how come so many people aren't wearing green. we're supposed to support the fight against global warming! haha. alright neither did i. only reason is because the only green shirt i have was the one i bought from italy last year, which is green and PINK. so totally gay. and i've only worn it once ever since i bought it, don't think i'm wearing it ever again. haha.

alright its pouring like mad outside my window right now, and i'm stuck at home feeling all restless, bored, worried, emotional. guess its a culmination of so many things thats been happening for the past few weeks or days. i have yet to pack my notes since the end of CT2s and theres been something in my head saying GO PACK but obviously i'm too lazy. my table is seriously in a mess ah and i don't think i can do any work till i've cleared it up. EXCUSES EXCUSES EXCUSES.

there's really not much time left to prelims i realise. and there are SO many things i need to touch up on, if i really want to do well. i think i've let myself down again this CT2s and its like shit, theres no longer any chance to redeem myself before prelims. guess i should have taken things more seriously from the beginning. AYE. feel sad when i see people around me getting good results but i'm not.

and i succumbed to laziness this morning, deciding not to wake up to go for mass because of how tired i was feeling. and then now again i don't feel like going in the evening because i just feel like staying put at home, and maybe laze my guts out or something. but then again if i don't go my mum will kill me for sure, so she's going to send me there at 5.30. AH. whats becoming of me. i don't even want to go mass.

the devil is one strong son of a bitch. i remember, there was a time when i used to pray (quite) regularly, attended daily mass, said my graces before meals, praise god for every single good little thing that happened to me. if only i could get this level of spirituality back, cos it makes me feel in sync with everything around me, be it school, friends or whatever. no problem seemed big enough for me, and there were no prolonged periods of sadness. aye.

this is why they say, God give you comfort. and i do need that comfort right now i guess.

i wonder how come i get so irritated easily these days, and how come i seem to think differently about certain things. is it part of growing up, or is my brain getting screwed up? i don't know. but thank goodness there always seems to be something pulling me back from that one wrong step that could ruin things around me, one by one.

theres also always this fear. i've been trying to keep things going, and hopefully there would be a chance to make things happen. but that chance never seems to come. haha.

patience is the word. patience.

alright this has been one long entry. and i think i spent more time thinking about the stuff going on in my life than typing. haha. what can i do? we all have to cope with our lives. if you're not gonna end it, live it.

okay i realise i don't feel any better now. and i thought blogging would improve my mood. haha. ah well. hopefully mass would.

time to change the mindset and move the feet people!

Labels: getitgoing.

oh man oh man elliott yamin songs are totally making me melt at this moment. there's just this weird awful feeling thats going through me, and i probably know the reason why i'm feeling this way. aye.

well at least i did some maths today.

"A Song For You"

I’ve been so many places in my life and time
I’ve sung a lot of songs, and I made some bad rhymes
I‘ve acted out my life on stages, with ten thousand people watching
But were alone now, and I’m singing this song to you.

I know your image of me is what I hope to be.
I’ve treated you unkindly, but darlin’ can’t you see.
There’s no one more important to me, baby can’t you see through me.
Cuz were alone now, and I’m singing this song to you

You taught me precious secrets, Of a true love, with holding nothing.
You came out in front when I was hiding.
But now I’m so much better, and if my words don’t come together
Listen to the melody, cuz my love is in there hiding

I love you in a place, where there’s no space or time.
I love you for my life, you’re a friend of mine
And when my life is over, remember, remember when we were together
We were alone and I was singing this song to you.

I love you in a place, where there’s no space or time.
Said I love you for my life, you’re a friend of mine.
And when my life is over, remember, remember when we were together
We were alone and I was singing this song to you.

We were alone and I was singing this song to you.
Singing this song to you.

Labels: whyohwhy.

okay i think i was too emotional yesterday. forget about the last post. haha.

shit la haven't eaten anything the whole day except hot cakes. and ended up playing 2 hours of winning eleven, 1 hour of sega games and another 2 hours of soccer. now i'm famished can't wait for dinner.

yup this is so random BYEBYE.

Labels: random.

so i was in the toilet showering, and then so many thoughts were flowing through my head.

i so wanted to blast the hell out of you, vent all my anger and frustrations and sadness in an entry. about the the fairness in question here, about the things you said, about those untrue things that you said.

but what the hell. would there be a point in doing that? obviously not. i've grown up and taking things in my stride should be the right thing to do.

let bygones be bygones. so cliche, yet so true.

well i guess some people just don't know me well enough. to know that friendship isn't something i would willingly sacrifice or forget about for other things. to know that i always try to stay true to who i am, and that i haven't changed drastically from who i was last time. to know that i always try to make an effort, though i fail sometimes, to make things around me better.

aye its just so sad. and i haven't felt this sad for a long time now. this is even more heart wrenching than being rejected by someone. trust me, it is.

why is it so hard to maintain a balance? be it studies, relationships, friendships. whatever. somehow some other party inevitably gets affected, and i myself get affected as well. why do people always have wrong perceptions of other people? why can't we live in a world of perfect competition (economics.), where there is full knowledge about every single piece of living and non living shit? sigh. why the hell am i trying to crack a joke when i'm feeling so emotional.

maybe its a sign. being angsty and pissed off isn't oliver-ish. its times like this when you feel like you're REALLY becoming someone else. aye.

and i still wish that my life could still be more god orientated. somehow, i'm still losing it. but still hanging in there. and so i shall continue to hang on.

if you remember, my msn nick for one period of time was, "maintaining a perfect balance." useless random nick? nah. so much more to it.

and theres so much more to me than you guys know. (:

i hope this emotion ends tonight. and i hope you never see this post. goodbye.

Labels: peacewithinourhearts.

okay i haven't blogged in a gazilliontrillion years so i think its time make things come alive! muaha. not that i have anything to blog about at this moment currently. lol.

hmm what can i say? i'm trying to chiong finish harrypotter and maybe finish before guin does along the way but that doesn't seem to be happening because i have so many other stuff to do! like today when my @(#*$&(#%&* gp teacher suddenly told us that she wanted us to do a gp essay and hand up tmr. and that was like the only thing i did all day, besides going to bugis to collect ting's shirt plus buying another shirt for myself. spent like what 2 hours writing an essay on crime, which i've never touched before. haha. but of course with a phone chat in between.

gah. prelims is coming so fast i can feel it. but my birthday is coming even faster although somehow i'm not thinking about it. haha. thats for you guys to think i guess? WAHA. kidding lah. anyway my grandma just gave me a hongbao with 20 bucks inside. yay. haha. remembered she use to give me 100 bucks, but that was before she got into an accident and lost abit of her memory. haha oh well. not complaining (:

okay blog more next time. for now, i'm off to potter again. GOODBYE.

Labels: expelliamoos.

okay reading all the posts bout pattaya just made me emo again. gosh i really do miss that god-forsaken place, because the trip was special for many reasons. special because it was my LAST TRIP as a vjchoir member, and maybe because it was spent with alot of yr 1s. haha. its nice to blend it with the group, the yr 1s are a great lot.

i told sherwin the other day that vjchoir is probably the best thing that has ever happened to me in my life, and that still doesn't change. this journey with the choir has given me lots of new experiences, love, passion that i think i won't be able to find any more in the future. the friendships i've forged are all invaluable, although there may have been differences along the way. wow, but when you put everything together, you can't help but feel saddened that you finally have to leave this thing you hold so dearly to your heart behind.

and to think i joined choir by chance, the day i was supposed to go audition for drama instead. guess that it was all planned by God, and i can't be thankful enough.

whats even better is that even as a normal member without any post or anything, the amount of contributions you can make, the things you get back in return, are numerous as well. i've enjoyed doing many things for vjchoir, including playing all the retarded roles in every single real concert we've performed in, helping others with the notes and music, helping in choreography blahblahblah. but the one thing that i treasure most for being able to do is to pray, not just by myself, but as a choir.

the last prayer i said for the choir was just before our open mixed competition. and i guess during that time i only decided to ask everyone to join in prayer because i was constantly prompted to do so. but once the prayer started everything just started pouring in, the talents God had given to all of us to sing for this choir, the amazing warmth and trust that God provides when we're really in need, to be able to sing for his glory ultimately. Indeed, this choir has been blessed by God, abundantly.

well, enough about me. in actual fact, i think we year2s can leave this choir knowing that it will eventually be in good hands. i'm seriously amazed by how much the year1s have improved, not only in their singing ability. i just hope the same mistakes our batch made would not be repeated. and i'm really proud of all of you, year1s. (: thanks for allowing me to stick with you guys. haha.

and thanks to the yr 2s as well. because i'm really proud of our batch as well. we've come a long way, and i think this can be considered as quite a beautiful ending. onward to As!

a voyage of songs. how apt.

yup so i finally broke my silence on this blog. i'm seriously getting sick of this template of mine haha. but i've got no time to find a new one. shucks. and i quit doing my econs case study to type this entry, gotta chiong copy tmr. otherwise i'll get chased out of class.

time to get really worried about my studies! at least, i have much more time now! but i'm seriously not used to being so free lol. hopefully, i'll be smart enough to make use of every single second i have to my advantage. UNLIKE NOW.

okay no. i'm glad i typed this entry. yay. haha.

till next time then, readers of my blog (:

Labels: thejourneyhasended.

OKAY OFF TO PATTAYA! I DUNNO WHAT ELSE TO WRITE.

except

i hope i have fun and i hope that i can ride on the cameras of others. becos i'm not bringing one. haha. okay it seems like every sentence with ride sounds wrong nowadays.

take care everyone. i won't miss you people. hahaha.

but i know you will miss me :D

okay totally kidding. byeeeee last entry of this week.

Labels: farewell.

2 more days to pattaya.

gosh i AM looking forward to it. just to escape from this suddenly horrid world i'm living in, where everything seems to be turning sour.

haha nothing seems to be going right for me at this moment. this is so terrible.

and i'm frustrated by how fast this has become like nothing. gah.

this is such a whatever entry. i'm off!

Labels: letmebegone.

why. did this have to happen.
what. am i supposed to do or say.
which. am i supposed to feel.
who. am i supposed to turn to.
how. am i going to pretend that i'm okay when i'm not.

sigh. this is gonna be a struggle.

Labels: itsallgonnabehidden.

hey! how come so many people aren't wearing green. we're supposed to support the fight against global warming! haha. alright neither did i. only reason is because the only green shirt i have was the one i bought from italy last year, which is green and PINK. so totally gay. and i've only worn it once ever since i bought it, don't think i'm wearing it ever again. haha.

alright its pouring like mad outside my window right now, and i'm stuck at home feeling all restless, bored, worried, emotional. guess its a culmination of so many things thats been happening for the past few weeks or days. i have yet to pack my notes since the end of CT2s and theres been something in my head saying GO PACK but obviously i'm too lazy. my table is seriously in a mess ah and i don't think i can do any work till i've cleared it up. EXCUSES EXCUSES EXCUSES.

there's really not much time left to prelims i realise. and there are SO many things i need to touch up on, if i really want to do well. i think i've let myself down again this CT2s and its like shit, theres no longer any chance to redeem myself before prelims. guess i should have taken things more seriously from the beginning. AYE. feel sad when i see people around me getting good results but i'm not.

and i succumbed to laziness this morning, deciding not to wake up to go for mass because of how tired i was feeling. and then now again i don't feel like going in the evening because i just feel like staying put at home, and maybe laze my guts out or something. but then again if i don't go my mum will kill me for sure, so she's going to send me there at 5.30. AH. whats becoming of me. i don't even want to go mass.

the devil is one strong son of a bitch. i remember, there was a time when i used to pray (quite) regularly, attended daily mass, said my graces before meals, praise god for every single good little thing that happened to me. if only i could get this level of spirituality back, cos it makes me feel in sync with everything around me, be it school, friends or whatever. no problem seemed big enough for me, and there were no prolonged periods of sadness. aye.

this is why they say, God give you comfort. and i do need that comfort right now i guess.

i wonder how come i get so irritated easily these days, and how come i seem to think differently about certain things. is it part of growing up, or is my brain getting screwed up? i don't know. but thank goodness there always seems to be something pulling me back from that one wrong step that could ruin things around me, one by one.

theres also always this fear. i've been trying to keep things going, and hopefully there would be a chance to make things happen. but that chance never seems to come. haha.

patience is the word. patience.

alright this has been one long entry. and i think i spent more time thinking about the stuff going on in my life than typing. haha. what can i do? we all have to cope with our lives. if you're not gonna end it, live it.

okay i realise i don't feel any better now. and i thought blogging would improve my mood. haha. ah well. hopefully mass would.

time to change the mindset and move the feet people!

Labels: getitgoing.

oh man oh man elliott yamin songs are totally making me melt at this moment. there's just this weird awful feeling thats going through me, and i probably know the reason why i'm feeling this way. aye.

well at least i did some maths today.

"A Song For You"

I’ve been so many places in my life and time
I’ve sung a lot of songs, and I made some bad rhymes
I‘ve acted out my life on stages, with ten thousand people watching
But were alone now, and I’m singing this song to you.

I know your image of me is what I hope to be.
I’ve treated you unkindly, but darlin’ can’t you see.
There’s no one more important to me, baby can’t you see through me.
Cuz were alone now, and I’m singing this song to you

You taught me precious secrets, Of a true love, with holding nothing.
You came out in front when I was hiding.
But now I’m so much better, and if my words don’t come together
Listen to the melody, cuz my love is in there hiding

I love you in a place, where there’s no space or time.
I love you for my life, you’re a friend of mine
And when my life is over, remember, remember when we were together
We were alone and I was singing this song to you.

I love you in a place, where there’s no space or time.
Said I love you for my life, you’re a friend of mine.
And when my life is over, remember, remember when we were together
We were alone and I was singing this song to you.

We were alone and I was singing this song to you.
Singing this song to you.

Labels: whyohwhy.

okay i think i was too emotional yesterday. forget about the last post. haha.

shit la haven't eaten anything the whole day except hot cakes. and ended up playing 2 hours of winning eleven, 1 hour of sega games and another 2 hours of soccer. now i'm famished can't wait for dinner.

yup this is so random BYEBYE.

Labels: random.

so i was in the toilet showering, and then so many thoughts were flowing through my head.

i so wanted to blast the hell out of you, vent all my anger and frustrations and sadness in an entry. about the the fairness in question here, about the things you said, about those untrue things that you said.

but what the hell. would there be a point in doing that? obviously not. i've grown up and taking things in my stride should be the right thing to do.

let bygones be bygones. so cliche, yet so true.

well i guess some people just don't know me well enough. to know that friendship isn't something i would willingly sacrifice or forget about for other things. to know that i always try to stay true to who i am, and that i haven't changed drastically from who i was last time. to know that i always try to make an effort, though i fail sometimes, to make things around me better.

aye its just so sad. and i haven't felt this sad for a long time now. this is even more heart wrenching than being rejected by someone. trust me, it is.

why is it so hard to maintain a balance? be it studies, relationships, friendships. whatever. somehow some other party inevitably gets affected, and i myself get affected as well. why do people always have wrong perceptions of other people? why can't we live in a world of perfect competition (economics.), where there is full knowledge about every single piece of living and non living shit? sigh. why the hell am i trying to crack a joke when i'm feeling so emotional.

maybe its a sign. being angsty and pissed off isn't oliver-ish. its times like this when you feel like you're REALLY becoming someone else. aye.

and i still wish that my life could still be more god orientated. somehow, i'm still losing it. but still hanging in there. and so i shall continue to hang on.

if you remember, my msn nick for one period of time was, "maintaining a perfect balance." useless random nick? nah. so much more to it.

and theres so much more to me than you guys know. (:

i hope this emotion ends tonight. and i hope you never see this post. goodbye.

Labels: peacewithinourhearts.