something dawned on me today. i suddenly realised that i'm actually holding on to certain things, things that are actually weighing me down, things that are actually distracting me. i wonder if i could ever let go of them, but from the looks of it, i don't think its quite possible. it's amazing how daily encounters can change the way i think and feel about different people. sometimes these feelings get worse, sometimes better. i thank god for the better thoughts, but i blame my own over sensitiveness for the bad ones.

simeon's testimony today came as rather touching for me. what aunty corinne (correct spelling?) mentioned in the prayer was true, the reminder about what we are made for, how we were created each uniquely to do god's will. the transformation i've seen in simeon and the other sec 3s have somehow reminded me about myself. i could just remember myself being lost in the wilderness at the beginning of the year, but yet within such a short period of time, i'm totally at a new spiritual level.

through log and the youth ministry, i slowly discovered the gifts got had bestowed on me, which were previously hidden deep within, somewhere inside of me. but not only has HE helped me to open my box, HE has also helped to mould and shape my talents to become better. i don't remember being able to sing well, i don't remember being able to create and shape music so easily, i don't remember knowing how to play the guitar, neither do i remember myself being able to speak confidently in front of others. YES. THANK GOD FOR GIVING ME THIS REMINDER TODAY!

the thing bout knowing god better through prayer sounds logical, but it's also true that this is something many of us struggle to achieve. ok maybe not many of us, maybe only some. no maybe only me. haha. but to sum it all up, i've been finding it really difficult to pray nowadays. sometimes i also find it tough to concentrate during mass when facing the eucharist. i try to tell myself, BEHOLD! GOD IS IN FRONT OF YOU! but inside of me it's like, ok yea i know but what's the use. i don't know what to do, maybe its because i haven't gone for confession? sometimes i wonder whether i'm praying to god or talking to myself. haha. i should try to pray more, with more reverence and concentration. hmmmm

ok i think that's enough of reflections for tonight. shan't say too much, in case you guys get lost in my chain of thoughts. haha. shall end off with a few thanksgivings.

1. thank you jesus, for helping aunty frances go through the operation safely and helping her to recover fast.

2. thank you jesus for allowing us to meet the sec 3s and allowing us to grow in faith with them.

3. thank you jesus for the gift of you. i wouldn't have made it if not for your love. amen.

O Level bio prac is like in about 10 hours time and i have no idea what i'm doing here. was just reminded by jason that my blog is rotting, so i just decided to give it a little bit of my time, just before i head to bed. haha.

was feeling really scared just now, not bout bio prac tmr, but about the O levels on a whole. suddenly dawned on me that the exams are so close, yet i haven't started chionging yet, still stuck at gear 1. need to start margging! horse scares me, at the rate he's going. must catch up! oinkz! haha.

first 2 months is going to be vj, i've more or less decided. alright shan't say much, will be back soon after i've uploaded the class photos onto webshots, look out for more info 4-10! ok i've got a terrible headache, neeta sleep! cya guys.

friends. something just made me think back upon the past today, those friends that i once had and now are gone, those who are still here but not as close as before. friendship is such a unpredictable thing, it can make you so happy at times, but it can also plunge a knife right through your heart. thinking about all the things i had done with my good friends in the past, i just wish i could go back there right now. but these are now just memories, happy, yet painful memories.

spritually low, that's how i've been feeling recently. jesus is so close to me all the time, yet i still choose to reject him. it may be because of my guilt, or my unworthiness, or maybe i could have been just too tired to even spare some time for him before i sleep. there's this sick feeling inside of me that i wish i could get rid of, which seems to spread all over me, especially during mass. it's like some burden that is weighing my heart down, sucking up my spirituality, suffocating me. i just hope that i can deal with it somehow, even though i almost felt like just giving up.

on the bright side, i'm glad that i still have many of my friends out there who certainly brighten my day. no matter how inhibited i can feel, having these people around never fails to bring a smile to my face. haha. thank you all thank you all(:

i'm just worried about my studies now. 11 points without moderation, wonder whether i'll make it to vj. i think i might be studying wrongly, so i better find a way to improve on my current self. for me, nothing seems gratifying enough, but i'll just have to accept things as they come. remember me in your prayers my friends, i'll remember you too. god bless!

today ain't a really good day, neither was it very bad. results were ok, topped the class for english with a measly score of 15/25 for compre, got A1 for my chem for 2nd prelim, overall still A2, but i think will round up.

soo got 8 points! scary! stupid boy act stupid, but actually he's like some super smart dude. i wonder whether i'll be able to equal his score. highly impossible i must say. haha. tomorrow is so not gonna be a good day, A maths and physics, both subjects i know i've screwed real badly. hopefully i'll be able to last through the entire ordeal. haha. i wanna get back my humans paper!!

today after school went to town with kris, jes, jess and soo to shop for swee's present! bought his present in a shorter time than i expected, not a bad present too. haha. saw edwin and aaron cheng at bk far east, but they didn't see me, phew. haha. anyway we didn't stay in town for long, went to gardens after that to have ice cream at olivio's. the yummay choco truffle, i want more! haha. dunno why i suddenly became damn crappy, crapped with soo about almost everything under the sun. the girls were exceptionally evil today too. haha. poor us, or should i say poor soo. haha.

after all that crapping and exercising i had done after i come home, i am now like dead tired. so i shan't continue with this entry anymore, becos my eyesight is failing me. i need to sleep. haha. cya guys! at least i made a point to update! haha. tag my board!

something dawned on me today. i suddenly realised that i'm actually holding on to certain things, things that are actually weighing me down, things that are actually distracting me. i wonder if i could ever let go of them, but from the looks of it, i don't think its quite possible. it's amazing how daily encounters can change the way i think and feel about different people. sometimes these feelings get worse, sometimes better. i thank god for the better thoughts, but i blame my own over sensitiveness for the bad ones.

simeon's testimony today came as rather touching for me. what aunty corinne (correct spelling?) mentioned in the prayer was true, the reminder about what we are made for, how we were created each uniquely to do god's will. the transformation i've seen in simeon and the other sec 3s have somehow reminded me about myself. i could just remember myself being lost in the wilderness at the beginning of the year, but yet within such a short period of time, i'm totally at a new spiritual level.

through log and the youth ministry, i slowly discovered the gifts got had bestowed on me, which were previously hidden deep within, somewhere inside of me. but not only has HE helped me to open my box, HE has also helped to mould and shape my talents to become better. i don't remember being able to sing well, i don't remember being able to create and shape music so easily, i don't remember knowing how to play the guitar, neither do i remember myself being able to speak confidently in front of others. YES. THANK GOD FOR GIVING ME THIS REMINDER TODAY!

the thing bout knowing god better through prayer sounds logical, but it's also true that this is something many of us struggle to achieve. ok maybe not many of us, maybe only some. no maybe only me. haha. but to sum it all up, i've been finding it really difficult to pray nowadays. sometimes i also find it tough to concentrate during mass when facing the eucharist. i try to tell myself, BEHOLD! GOD IS IN FRONT OF YOU! but inside of me it's like, ok yea i know but what's the use. i don't know what to do, maybe its because i haven't gone for confession? sometimes i wonder whether i'm praying to god or talking to myself. haha. i should try to pray more, with more reverence and concentration. hmmmm

ok i think that's enough of reflections for tonight. shan't say too much, in case you guys get lost in my chain of thoughts. haha. shall end off with a few thanksgivings.

1. thank you jesus, for helping aunty frances go through the operation safely and helping her to recover fast.

2. thank you jesus for allowing us to meet the sec 3s and allowing us to grow in faith with them.

3. thank you jesus for the gift of you. i wouldn't have made it if not for your love. amen.

O Level bio prac is like in about 10 hours time and i have no idea what i'm doing here. was just reminded by jason that my blog is rotting, so i just decided to give it a little bit of my time, just before i head to bed. haha.

was feeling really scared just now, not bout bio prac tmr, but about the O levels on a whole. suddenly dawned on me that the exams are so close, yet i haven't started chionging yet, still stuck at gear 1. need to start margging! horse scares me, at the rate he's going. must catch up! oinkz! haha.

first 2 months is going to be vj, i've more or less decided. alright shan't say much, will be back soon after i've uploaded the class photos onto webshots, look out for more info 4-10! ok i've got a terrible headache, neeta sleep! cya guys.

friends. something just made me think back upon the past today, those friends that i once had and now are gone, those who are still here but not as close as before. friendship is such a unpredictable thing, it can make you so happy at times, but it can also plunge a knife right through your heart. thinking about all the things i had done with my good friends in the past, i just wish i could go back there right now. but these are now just memories, happy, yet painful memories.

spritually low, that's how i've been feeling recently. jesus is so close to me all the time, yet i still choose to reject him. it may be because of my guilt, or my unworthiness, or maybe i could have been just too tired to even spare some time for him before i sleep. there's this sick feeling inside of me that i wish i could get rid of, which seems to spread all over me, especially during mass. it's like some burden that is weighing my heart down, sucking up my spirituality, suffocating me. i just hope that i can deal with it somehow, even though i almost felt like just giving up.

on the bright side, i'm glad that i still have many of my friends out there who certainly brighten my day. no matter how inhibited i can feel, having these people around never fails to bring a smile to my face. haha. thank you all thank you all(:

i'm just worried about my studies now. 11 points without moderation, wonder whether i'll make it to vj. i think i might be studying wrongly, so i better find a way to improve on my current self. for me, nothing seems gratifying enough, but i'll just have to accept things as they come. remember me in your prayers my friends, i'll remember you too. god bless!

today ain't a really good day, neither was it very bad. results were ok, topped the class for english with a measly score of 15/25 for compre, got A1 for my chem for 2nd prelim, overall still A2, but i think will round up.

soo got 8 points! scary! stupid boy act stupid, but actually he's like some super smart dude. i wonder whether i'll be able to equal his score. highly impossible i must say. haha. tomorrow is so not gonna be a good day, A maths and physics, both subjects i know i've screwed real badly. hopefully i'll be able to last through the entire ordeal. haha. i wanna get back my humans paper!!

today after school went to town with kris, jes, jess and soo to shop for swee's present! bought his present in a shorter time than i expected, not a bad present too. haha. saw edwin and aaron cheng at bk far east, but they didn't see me, phew. haha. anyway we didn't stay in town for long, went to gardens after that to have ice cream at olivio's. the yummay choco truffle, i want more! haha. dunno why i suddenly became damn crappy, crapped with soo about almost everything under the sun. the girls were exceptionally evil today too. haha. poor us, or should i say poor soo. haha.

after all that crapping and exercising i had done after i come home, i am now like dead tired. so i shan't continue with this entry anymore, becos my eyesight is failing me. i need to sleep. haha. cya guys! at least i made a point to update! haha. tag my board!