lack of sleep lack of sleep! thats why i'm sick again, i think. stupid runny nose and phlegmy throat which i totally can't stand. haha. and i don't think i'm gonna get all the sleep i need soon.

i totally wasted time again la. like hell lot of time, which i could have used to catch up on my work. only finished my scalar product tutorial. and the rest of the time was spent guitaring and singing and listening to songs. it all started due to the fact that i finally found my usbcable to my 128mb mp3 player! (seriously pathetic right?) but yea then i spent time choosing songs to put inside and all and then you know what carried on. argh. lots of stuff to catch up on, should stop doing this.

"Bless The Broken Road" Rascal Flatts

I set out on a narrow way many years ago,
Hoping I would find true love along the broken road.
But I got lost a time or two,
Wiped my brow and kept pushing through.
I couldn't see how every sign pointed straight to you.

Every long lost dream, led me to where you are.
Others who broke my heart, they were like northern stars.
Pointing me on my way, into your loving arms.
This much I know is true,
That God blessed the broken road,
That led me straight to you.

so in love with this song. yet another of those i can relate to.

feel my heart reach out (:

i bought a new pink shirt from topman today! and i kinda like it. although in the end i kinda regretted buying it, cos it costed 69 bucks, well like i always do. haha. then i tried convincing myself that well hmm pink matches with chinese new year, cos i could have gone for the one with the cat high things at the shoulders, which was more unique and only cost 10 bucks more ): and then i stopped thinking about it till now when i showed my mum the shirt and she said my dad bought 3 nicer shirts for 45 bucks only.

well, haha my mum was lying. my shirt is confirm nicer. but still. lol.

ah well. expensive lesson! nevermind, at least i got my first shirt from topman (: now i got a topman set of t-shirt, shirt and boxers. maybe more to add to the collection next time!

hmm ok well i should say today was time well spent with choir people and i felt kinda good about it. cam whored a hell lot on esplanade rooftop and talked alot of crap. felt abit like the old days, but this time with lotsa year ones. haha.

went for vocal consort concert at night! they we're really very good cos the girls were really airy. and there was one part of the concert when haha, ok shan't say so bad. but people who were there should know which part i'm THINKING about. yes the kongbah part. lol.

======

don't you think the weekends really pass too quick? all i did was chem mcq and chemspa notsothorough studying. so little breathing space, yet so much to do, and so much to think about.

today it happened again. have you ever had the feeling of wanting to see someone who turns out not to be there, and then you realise that that person is already with someone else? i'm not sure whether its even a feeling at all.

and then, when you think about it, you get this really sinking sensation and theres this funny awful feeling in your chest, something between physical and emotional. trying to fight it, you put on a facade, or try to push the thought to the back of your head and find something to laugh about.

moreover, if its been happening time and time again, now when it comes back to your head the painful feeling starts to fade, and then you just feel like you're giving in to this feeling, or even more so giving in to the purpose of its source. what's worst, it doesn't even feel like jealousy. you don't even know how to give a term for it.

such things just make you lose this feeling that you yearn to keep.

i don't really feel emo now. i just feel, like i don't wanna care anymore.

chemspachemspa. goodlucktomyself.

peep x9, BOTOH!

singapore vs malaysia. malaysia scores first, then singapore equalises! then tries to score a winning goal, but the match goes to penalties! and singapore wins 5-4!!

wow what an experience. malays are funny people, seriously. from the front and the back there was incessant shouting and scolding and teasing. haha and farah had to become a translator. THANK GOD SINGAPORE OWN MAN, thank god.

and i'm glad that i had soccer pals to be with, eeloong, ys, george and of course hs. haha so tense, yet so exciting. phew. *takes a deep breath*.

i just came home! and my mum is still angry with me. we quarrel over the stupidest stuff. from this morning we quarelled over a puncher cos i forgot to help her keep the previous night when she asked me too. then she will start saying the line she always LOVES to say to me. "so now you got wings to fly la." so sick of it can. luckily she's asleep now, thought she'd be awake waiting for me at home sitting on the sofa and staring at me as i enter the door, as she loves to do. haha.

ah well, long and tiring day. filled with fun and everything.

there's no one to talk to online now, its been like this the past 2 days.

i guess i shouldn't hope too much. this hope is killing my soul.

sigh.

yay! my new template is done. was really getting sick of the old one. haha and i think this one is gonna stay for quite some time. its plain, simple, but nice. just the way i like it to be (:

once again the week has flown away, and what a week it has been. one filled with emotion, tasks, obstacles, joy, happiness, laughter. you name it, the list goes on. ah well, soon enough this day will come and that day will come and i'll be a lonely old man.

okay thats superexaggeration. haha. was just watching the 9pm show just now with my mother, and then both of us would go "aiyah" at many times in the show, because of the way how love is rejected and passed on between the people in the show. and then this girl will like this guy, when that guy doesn't like her. then another guy will like this girl. and then the girl acts close to this guy to see if the other guy is indifferent. aye, twisted love. funny how me and my mother can react the same way. think i got her genes for this one. lol.

my mum said that i'll understand all this soon, like when i grow up. well, she doesn't know me well enough to know that i actually understand.

its quite a pain to experience sth like that eh? i wouldn't know, or maybe i do.

and then again i'm filled with emo-ness once again tonight. nope its not the night, its never the night. my windows media player is playing and i keep switching to the more emo ones. guess when you're starting to be in the mood for this, there's no stopping.

aye there are so many things i wish i could say here, but not all things are worth reading for you guys.

i'm just filled with doubts, yet again. its all just, "cruel to the eye". nothing i can do at the moment to stop this sadness thats flowing through me. some things, you just can't hide. you can't.

SORRY to all my readers out there for my recent burst of emo posts. do bear with me. blogging cures a lil (: haha. thanks for your concern (:

AND to charlotte. stop fantasising about my colourful shits.

cyaguys (:

hana is really such a beautiful song. its really quite awesome how nelson moulds and inteprets the music, he's indeed a great conductor. can't wait for more combined practises to come with him!

choir is indeed a onceinalifetime musical experience. every single moment of it. thank god blessed me with a voice.

i'm kinda tired and drained and i feel like i need at least 3 days of sleep to recuperate, to erase my blackeyelids and restore my energy. my palms are blisterfied from pullups ): it hurts. argh.

so much to do by friday and so little time. by the time i came back today all i could do was to study for physics spa and then write my angelmortal letters (dragged for 1 week already)

hope i don't screw my spa tmr ):

maybe its good to be tired and busy and worried.

at least it'll take this thing off my mind. for a moment or so.

the night ends, but nothing has ended.

what am i supposed to feel?

will tomorrow bring joy or a laugh?

only god knows what tomorrow will bring.

i so wish this could end.

i'm really screaming inside.

screaming.

AHHHHHHHH.

this feels terrible. terrible!

GREAT. i just wasted my entire weekends AGAIN. i mean why can't i change this habit of doing at least SOMETHING productive on sat and sun. its like i've never done anything on weekends since sec sch till now, unless its like exam time or its urgent. rawr.

wake up oliverlee. its A level year.

i swear its not gonna be the same from tomorrow onwards. haha. don't i sound determined?? lol.

i can't wait for 12am. i mean its the thing i've been looking forward to ever since the weekends started. maybe thats whats stopping me from doing what i should do. too happy that MANU vs ARSENAL is coming. lol. i swear i'm gonna laugh at jasonhoon if arsenal loses. hahah. his nick is like, time for the manchester massacre. KMA lah. go figure what that means you intellectuals. haha.

footballfever. at least its keeping me free from my other biggest distraction.

watched starship troopers on channel 5, and i realised its damn dumb. i used to like it, cos i thought it was quite a cool sci-fi show. but its like kinda too dumb to be sci-fi, when i look at it now. haha. and omg thedancefloor was damn lousy lah. the show didn't really have any appeal at all. and the auditions held in the open. haha omg.

soyouthinkyoucandance ownz.

can't wait. approximately 1 hours 53 mins left.

======

its coming.

this feels awful.

its late into the night again. why do days past so fast?

school today was boring as usual. essaywriting during triple gp period was totally, urgh. i did the hosting the major sporting event question, the one which mrpoh did. forgot to mention bout tourism, and got quite irked. but couldn't change cos i wrote an entire portion after the area i'm supposed to write in already. oh well don't care.

then after school went home with zha, and he ended up going for a run with me near my house. wasn't very long, just like 8 rounds. got quite tired today and zha ran like so far ahead at the end. maybe its cos i haven't been getting enough rest, plus the fact that i'm sick.

went for og bbq after that! rushed home to bathe and change then rushed to school, just in time to meet my crewlet. the sky looked so dull, and it started raining on our way there. thankfully the rain didn't last long! before eating we played stupid games like 007, some dongcakdongcak game, never ever have i ever (turned out to be reveal ivan's dirty little secrets game.) haha. yup. then didn't eat much of the bbq-ed food, just a few satay and hotdogs. ate beehoon and friedrice instead. but its confirm not worth 5 dollars. haha. ah well. its wasn't really about the food, but the fact that i got to talk to many people! all the yr1s i had previously never talked to before, plus people from my junior class as well.

let me recall their names: susanne, liting, cherish, jacky.

okay great i remember their names. got quite sociable, and camwhored quite a lil. then after all that proceeded with my crewlet to burger king! where we hung out and talked for awhile, before yuru's dad came to pick us up. thankfully. otherwise it'll be the long emo bus ride home.

seriously i think school and stuff is distracting me from thinking about it. maybe its a good thing. ricer says its good. i don't really know though.

there are many times when i see a line and it just triggers my thoughts. its just so unpredictable and i also don't know what to expect.

where am i being lead to?

okay i finally did some work today! kickstart to my consistent "mugging" year that i hope to achieve? possibly. hahah. haven't done work on my desk for a long time. oh well not say i did alot too, just studied chem and did 3 questions of chem tutorial. then did GP essay outline. never touch maths! thought i'm supposed to do too. wasted too much time earlier in the day. haha.

went to see a doctor today. he said that i have a very inflamed throat. sounds bad, feels bad as well. haha. shan't decribe the symptoms of my sickness, but then its urgh, disgusting to the eyes. haha. i want to recover asap! so i can start singing carefreely again.

i mean not that i don't sing now. just that i don't sing as well ):

singing is like everything to me. hahah. oh well bother. as long as i don't get onto the nerves of others with my persistent singing into their ears. i think sometimes i do though. lol.

ok random.

i really don't know what to type. argh. i need more rest.

the work is piling.

hey! what happened to all my faithful tagboard people! why aren't you tagging my board! ):

haha anyway i still haven't recovered. and i'm not helping myself either, because i sleep either too late, or i sing too much, or i eat too much unhealthy stuff. when oh when am i gonna recover if i continue being this way. lol. please miracle happen to me!

actually i don't really know what to blog now, cos my mind is quite blanked out. all i can think of is that tmr i'm taking weight and i'm glad i've made good progress in trying to eat slower and more proportionately, and also keeping fit by exercising. just ran 4.8 today and played bball! and didn't eat excessively. which is good. and its fun doing pullups, although i cannot do many. hahah.

okay what to say? i need sleep i need sleep. i think i should just go to bed now. haha.

hmm today's quite a happy day. thanks to you (:

i spent the entire weekends doing nothing productive and i guess i'm feeling quite bad about it.

was really in the mood just now to do something, but then i got hooked onto the day after tomorrow. but then again, now that the show is over, i feel like i'm kinda lost.

can't stop thinking about it, and each moment that passes by is just getting worse.

indeed its my greatest distraction. but what can i do about it?

i feel like i'm losing out. i'm falling out of this race.
please tell me i'm not?
i always end up being in this position. in the past, now as well.

i guess its all my fault.

another emo post. what the hell is wrong with me! freak. out.

i think its the rain thats making me feel, sibei-sian.

choir prac this morning was quite nice i guess. besides the shitty syf song, we sang o magnum. man that song is really woah damn nice. shan't elaborate further.

then had ogl outing after choir prac and we played pool and then ate dinner. then photowhored for awhile before everyone went home and i went home with charlottespidey. shan't elaborate further too.

shan't elaborate further. haha. man i dunno why i can't blog. maybe its cos i'm too tired.

wait, why am i even blogging now? hmm.
cosi'mfeelingemo.
sigh. why do i always find out stuff i'd rather not find out?

its tough having to put up with this, time and time again.

worstcasescenarios.

they seem to all come true for me.

i don't know what else to say.
feelinglost.
at least God knows how i'm feeling.

freak.

i'm caught up in this late night emoness again.

something that i've ONCE AGAIN created for myself.

human nature?

i'm wondering if all that i'm feeling would be worthwhile.

what would come of this in the end?

i wish i knew how to break this "curse".

i need prayer.

hmm. actually i don't know what aloe means as well. haha.

i think i'll never get a chance to go running. i've been feeling very enthusiastic these few days, but everytime there will be something that PREVENTS me from running. today is the rain. omg why won't the rain stop! came home at 4 today, then decided to take a nap. i PLANNED to wake up at 5.30 to go jogging. but in the end the rain just made me sleep more ): boo.

2 scary things happened to me today. gosh such an unlucky day.

firstly was when i came home on the 55, then when i alighted the bus, i discovered my HANDPHONE was nowhere to be found! in the end i ran after the bus which was driving away, but couldn't find it at where i was sitting. so feeling dejected, i alighted the bus once more. only to discover that my HANDPHONE was hidden in some other compartment!

close shave 1.

then just now i went to the coffeeshop to have dinner by myself. so lonely yes. then after eating i walked home in the rain right to my doorstep, only to realise my KEYS were not with me. so, i MOVED as fast as possible on the wet ground back to the coffeeshop (cos my slippers had 0 grip.) and LUCKILY, the uncle had picked it up for me.

close shave 2.

2 close shaves in 1 day. i could have died if i haven't been watched over. (by god) haha. thank god man.

======

i felt it again this afternoon. whywhywhy!

the feeling sucks.

to my mind: stop husiluanxianging.

off to the showers! (:

its only the 2nd week of school and work is piling! wow. wonder where i'm gonna find the motivation from. stupid econs project is now bugging my mind. the thought of zhili talking this afternoon, wanting to finish the project by tmr still scares me. sigh. haha. see how lim i reen reacts tmr. she's currently the last person i wanna see. lol.

had first choir prac with the yr ones today! and the enthusiastic me donned my cathigh uniform once again. felt really cooling for a change, since the shirt is much thinner than vj's, PLUS the most impt part of all, the shorts. haha. amazingly my pants was still as loose as ever, or even looser than it was in sec sch. gosh.

yup so tried to pretend to be a yr 1, but wasn't really into it cos i was kinda expecting ppl to know that i'm just a fake. haha. but yea the most impt thing is that i got to wear cathigh uniform (: hmm tried to sing but was kinda throaty, cos i'm still suffering from the after effects of orientation. and i just got back my voice today! on top of that i'm still suffering from symptoms of phlegm, runningnose, occasional headaches and throatpains. poormepoorme. I WANNA SING. please let me recover.

hmm and the sound was like errr. haha the tone of the yr 1s wasn't really nice. but anyway it was just the first prac, we'll all get better!

and i guess after today "chitchat", everyone would be more mindful of themselves. sigh. i felt the emoness running both on my left and my right. oh well, guess its all up to us now huh.

morewatermorewater! shall go get more water.

cyappl(:

ORIENTATION 1 OFFICIALLY OVER.

so sad. that means alot of things. no more cheering, no more having fun, no more nice year1s to interact with, no more not worrying about all the work and books that are piling up behind you. ARGH. WHY SO FAST.

anyway today was the best day of orientation! sea regatta was kinda fun, but people got cut everywhere on their feet cos of the LOUSY sand. dunking people is damn fun. hahaha. but yea the games weren't very bad, and we did mass dance after the whole thing at the beach! so cool right. oh yea and the bimbo charlottespidey crashed today. hope you had lotsa fun! haha.

okay after sea regatta the whole iago went to kallang KFC to have lunch and og interaction time. and since there was free refill of drinks available, we played games like 007 and 21, and everyone ended up drinking LOTS of softdrinks or whatever. haha. my stomach was so bloated after that.

mass dance at suntec well, was crazy as usual. everyone running around the fountain, spontaneous cheers here and there. haha sad thing was that i was suffering terribly from a headache due to my current streak of heatiness, and plus my throat was hurting bad. so i couldn't really enjoy myself ): but i'm sure lots of other people had fun. haha. saw choir people! kenny sx may and all.

well its back to school tmr and i have ALL TUTORIALS except one period lecture. sucks eh? haha.

and thanks for reminding me to blog (:

shit why the hell am i feeling so tired when i woke up at 12 today and still napped in the afternoon? its not even 1 oclock and my eyes are like shutting! must be the ogl-ing. freaking drains and sucks all your energy. haha. NEED TO RECOUP MY LOSSES. hopefully i don't fall asleep talking to you again argh.

okay i didn't blog for quite long already and i seriously have alot of things to report about! but i'm so not gonna type everything because its gonna be a damn long entry. haha. ANYWAY. orientation is ALMOST over. and the 3 days have been a hell of an experience. i mean, besides the great part of getting alot of work out from running around and dancing, being able to make new friends, meet new people was totally awesome. and then seeing your freshmen appreciating your help and support is even more awesome. woo iago and the ogls rawk.

iago came in second omg. we were last on the second day and we climbed 7 places to 2nd. wth the point system is seriously damn screwed up hahah. but doesn't really matter, as long as everyone enjoyed themselves! the yearones really loosened up on friday! esp at night at suntec when everyone was talkingtalking. before that as well. haha. great to see people settling in. yea.

oh yea and i met my junior class already. they look kinda fun. haha. we played a prank on them! yongsheng was like acting like this freakboy from vs with mohawk hair and sucking a lollipop, shiyi was a retarded ip student and farah was a DUNMAN HIGH student. totally planted among them. haha. and i dressed up like a toot before walking in. and TRIED to scold them after the laughter but it FAILED in the end thanks to some poor acting. hahaha. oh well.

i lied that my name was charlie wong. and that i'm the chairman of the med soc, and the HOTTIEculture society. haha like whats new? but they actually believed it. LOL.

shit really alot of things i can say but i'm lazy to type out :D

anyway today was the first time in a very long time i spent the whole morning and afternoon at home! totally slacked my ass off and was SUPER BORED. had a nice lunch with my dad though, bahkutteh. good thing was we talked, and HE PAID FOR THE LUNCH. woo. hahaha.

and then at 5 left for mass, which was celebrated by the nuncio. the pope's representative to southeastasia. cool eh, he visit my church leh. haha. but yea had some dinner after that, which was supposed to be some 10 course shit. TURNED OUT TO BE, high class 3 course meal. but still FREE. haha. had what? seafoodpasta, turkey, mushroomsoup, brownie, chicken. and funny the way it was served too. SUPER POOR SERVICE. cos served damn slow and alot of people got their food damn late! and some food was MISSING from the menu. bloody thing. hahaha. but ate my fill though. 2 and a half brownies omg, super sinful.

shall tell you all something i laughed about yesterday. something simple. lol. cos my mum and dad went to this wedding dinner at fullerton, and the gift was some teddy bear. then my mum came home holding 3 teddy bears and she wouldn't stop asking my dad, "cute right!". and then she still come and ask me. then she playplayplay with the bear then in the end she arrange on top of the tv and told me and my dad. "this is papa, this is you, this is me!" cos got 1 girl 2 boy. then me and my father diao. then my father said, "collect dust only la." then i laughed. haha.

okay random. but you'd only laugh if you were me i think. my parents are getting cuter these days.

IAGO OUTING TMR! at 12. rah. shall go after session and lunch!

hello mygaylover. haha!

FIRST DAY OF SCHOOL IS OFFICIALLY OVER. omg and what a tiring day it was. i feel so drained now. haha. but happy that i'm FREE FROM MY R PAPER YAY. okay maths wasn't quite a breeze but i have this feeling that i might pass. considering that i only started studying like yesterday, passing would be quite erm, okay. hahaha.

anyway during assembly this morning we met the new principal! he's so short and fat. haha. and when you look at him you're kind of expecting this low and sexy voice. but turns out his voice is quite ahgua. omg. lol ok shan't be so mean, his voice is kinda high. and err he speaks in such a refined manner its weird. PLUS, he's freaking naggy la, like jiaqing was saying. lol. and its only his first speech. SIGH, i'm foreseeing one more year of longwindedassemblys. lol.

IAGO INTERSPURSE! okay my group was kinda intimidating at first. because when i first stepped into the hall after my paper, i saw yuru sitting with them and there was like silence within the circle. and i'm like OMG why. haha. but yea OBVIOUSLY after i joined in it kinda got better for everyone, esp since i was like the only one interacting with them during lunch. lol. and we played stupid games, like zipzapzop, chopchilli, concentration. all the blahblah ones choir people like to play. LOL. ok la i'm kidding, i didn't make an immediate impact lol. but at least IAGO INTERSPURSE got more lively as the day went by, with more games, massdance and cheers. thank goodness phew, hope it gets better tmr.

its really INTIMIDATING when you have group of year 1s sitting in a circle facing you with blank stares. omg. and when you're the one who has to decide something to do, its kinda daunting lol. but no worries. I'M UP FOR THE TASK :D haha. i hope.

gosh i think ppl should be thankful that i created the EEEYAAAA cheer. cos its so easy to say, then everytime the gamemasters want a grp to cheer first, we always win. lol. but omg cheering today really SPOILED my voice. so sad i couldn't even sing the victorian anthem. ZAOSIA from first note to last. hahah. and i couldn't sing properly in the shower just now ):

ANYWAY mspoh's hair isn't ugly AT ALL. actually i think its like quite nice. hahah make it sound until so horrific online. FRESH NEW STYLE. cool. the product of 20 mins infront of the mirror in the morning. lol.

and i think i need a new template ): this is getting boring. someone help me make one! hahaha.

i'm off. cheers!

HAPPY TWOTHOUSANDANDSEVEN (:

i think i had sorta of a great 2006 because of many reasons. new friends, new experiences, new feelings, new things. jc life is really one of a kind, and i'm sorta enjoying it. (the non studying parts that is) thank god for choir too! what a blessing it has been.

anyway we had a great newyear's celebration at dawn's. lotsa nice food and drinks. the company was great too. haha we counted down and the first few seconds of 2007 was spent singing joy to the world. which is erm kinda weird, cos its new year not christmas. oh well. hahaha. but anyway we had alchohol and people got tipsy! esp dawn. who was quite high. hahah.

and then we had fun planning a birthday amazing race for weeyuting! we thought of many ways to scare her, but in the end she wasn't as scared as we would have imagined. because she had company! haha. but it was still fun and all. then after the amazing race we lighted 17 sparklers and sang her a birthday song in dawn's house. bet yuting was super touched. YOU SHOULD BE. hahaha. and then we had brownie and apple crumble. a super sinful new year's celebration i should say. but i enjoyed it (:

i lost my pick again ): i keep losing my picks rawr. and this time its my fav white soft pick! boohoo. can't play my lovely guitar properly. anyway kris just sent me manymany songs yay. all so nice. haha thanks krissay (: lips of an angel woo!

anyway i think i've got a few new year resolutions. here they are:
1. run 3 times per week.
2. sing better
3. do my tutorials and study
4. love my parents more
5. stop getting distracted by the com
6. get gold for napfa again

okay i think there's so much more i need to do. but for now its just these. hopefully it'll be a good year ahead!

lookingforwardtoorientationyay.

lack of sleep lack of sleep! thats why i'm sick again, i think. stupid runny nose and phlegmy throat which i totally can't stand. haha. and i don't think i'm gonna get all the sleep i need soon.

i totally wasted time again la. like hell lot of time, which i could have used to catch up on my work. only finished my scalar product tutorial. and the rest of the time was spent guitaring and singing and listening to songs. it all started due to the fact that i finally found my usbcable to my 128mb mp3 player! (seriously pathetic right?) but yea then i spent time choosing songs to put inside and all and then you know what carried on. argh. lots of stuff to catch up on, should stop doing this.

"Bless The Broken Road" Rascal Flatts

I set out on a narrow way many years ago,
Hoping I would find true love along the broken road.
But I got lost a time or two,
Wiped my brow and kept pushing through.
I couldn't see how every sign pointed straight to you.

Every long lost dream, led me to where you are.
Others who broke my heart, they were like northern stars.
Pointing me on my way, into your loving arms.
This much I know is true,
That God blessed the broken road,
That led me straight to you.

so in love with this song. yet another of those i can relate to.

feel my heart reach out (:

i bought a new pink shirt from topman today! and i kinda like it. although in the end i kinda regretted buying it, cos it costed 69 bucks, well like i always do. haha. then i tried convincing myself that well hmm pink matches with chinese new year, cos i could have gone for the one with the cat high things at the shoulders, which was more unique and only cost 10 bucks more ): and then i stopped thinking about it till now when i showed my mum the shirt and she said my dad bought 3 nicer shirts for 45 bucks only.

well, haha my mum was lying. my shirt is confirm nicer. but still. lol.

ah well. expensive lesson! nevermind, at least i got my first shirt from topman (: now i got a topman set of t-shirt, shirt and boxers. maybe more to add to the collection next time!

hmm ok well i should say today was time well spent with choir people and i felt kinda good about it. cam whored a hell lot on esplanade rooftop and talked alot of crap. felt abit like the old days, but this time with lotsa year ones. haha.

went for vocal consort concert at night! they we're really very good cos the girls were really airy. and there was one part of the concert when haha, ok shan't say so bad. but people who were there should know which part i'm THINKING about. yes the kongbah part. lol.

======

don't you think the weekends really pass too quick? all i did was chem mcq and chemspa notsothorough studying. so little breathing space, yet so much to do, and so much to think about.

today it happened again. have you ever had the feeling of wanting to see someone who turns out not to be there, and then you realise that that person is already with someone else? i'm not sure whether its even a feeling at all.

and then, when you think about it, you get this really sinking sensation and theres this funny awful feeling in your chest, something between physical and emotional. trying to fight it, you put on a facade, or try to push the thought to the back of your head and find something to laugh about.

moreover, if its been happening time and time again, now when it comes back to your head the painful feeling starts to fade, and then you just feel like you're giving in to this feeling, or even more so giving in to the purpose of its source. what's worst, it doesn't even feel like jealousy. you don't even know how to give a term for it.

such things just make you lose this feeling that you yearn to keep.

i don't really feel emo now. i just feel, like i don't wanna care anymore.

chemspachemspa. goodlucktomyself.

peep x9, BOTOH!

singapore vs malaysia. malaysia scores first, then singapore equalises! then tries to score a winning goal, but the match goes to penalties! and singapore wins 5-4!!

wow what an experience. malays are funny people, seriously. from the front and the back there was incessant shouting and scolding and teasing. haha and farah had to become a translator. THANK GOD SINGAPORE OWN MAN, thank god.

and i'm glad that i had soccer pals to be with, eeloong, ys, george and of course hs. haha so tense, yet so exciting. phew. *takes a deep breath*.

i just came home! and my mum is still angry with me. we quarrel over the stupidest stuff. from this morning we quarelled over a puncher cos i forgot to help her keep the previous night when she asked me too. then she will start saying the line she always LOVES to say to me. "so now you got wings to fly la." so sick of it can. luckily she's asleep now, thought she'd be awake waiting for me at home sitting on the sofa and staring at me as i enter the door, as she loves to do. haha.

ah well, long and tiring day. filled with fun and everything.

there's no one to talk to online now, its been like this the past 2 days.

i guess i shouldn't hope too much. this hope is killing my soul.

sigh.

yay! my new template is done. was really getting sick of the old one. haha and i think this one is gonna stay for quite some time. its plain, simple, but nice. just the way i like it to be (:

once again the week has flown away, and what a week it has been. one filled with emotion, tasks, obstacles, joy, happiness, laughter. you name it, the list goes on. ah well, soon enough this day will come and that day will come and i'll be a lonely old man.

okay thats superexaggeration. haha. was just watching the 9pm show just now with my mother, and then both of us would go "aiyah" at many times in the show, because of the way how love is rejected and passed on between the people in the show. and then this girl will like this guy, when that guy doesn't like her. then another guy will like this girl. and then the girl acts close to this guy to see if the other guy is indifferent. aye, twisted love. funny how me and my mother can react the same way. think i got her genes for this one. lol.

my mum said that i'll understand all this soon, like when i grow up. well, she doesn't know me well enough to know that i actually understand.

its quite a pain to experience sth like that eh? i wouldn't know, or maybe i do.

and then again i'm filled with emo-ness once again tonight. nope its not the night, its never the night. my windows media player is playing and i keep switching to the more emo ones. guess when you're starting to be in the mood for this, there's no stopping.

aye there are so many things i wish i could say here, but not all things are worth reading for you guys.

i'm just filled with doubts, yet again. its all just, "cruel to the eye". nothing i can do at the moment to stop this sadness thats flowing through me. some things, you just can't hide. you can't.

SORRY to all my readers out there for my recent burst of emo posts. do bear with me. blogging cures a lil (: haha. thanks for your concern (:

AND to charlotte. stop fantasising about my colourful shits.

cyaguys (:

hana is really such a beautiful song. its really quite awesome how nelson moulds and inteprets the music, he's indeed a great conductor. can't wait for more combined practises to come with him!

choir is indeed a onceinalifetime musical experience. every single moment of it. thank god blessed me with a voice.

i'm kinda tired and drained and i feel like i need at least 3 days of sleep to recuperate, to erase my blackeyelids and restore my energy. my palms are blisterfied from pullups ): it hurts. argh.

so much to do by friday and so little time. by the time i came back today all i could do was to study for physics spa and then write my angelmortal letters (dragged for 1 week already)

hope i don't screw my spa tmr ):

maybe its good to be tired and busy and worried.

at least it'll take this thing off my mind. for a moment or so.

the night ends, but nothing has ended.

what am i supposed to feel?

will tomorrow bring joy or a laugh?

only god knows what tomorrow will bring.

i so wish this could end.

i'm really screaming inside.

screaming.

AHHHHHHHH.

this feels terrible. terrible!

GREAT. i just wasted my entire weekends AGAIN. i mean why can't i change this habit of doing at least SOMETHING productive on sat and sun. its like i've never done anything on weekends since sec sch till now, unless its like exam time or its urgent. rawr.

wake up oliverlee. its A level year.

i swear its not gonna be the same from tomorrow onwards. haha. don't i sound determined?? lol.

i can't wait for 12am. i mean its the thing i've been looking forward to ever since the weekends started. maybe thats whats stopping me from doing what i should do. too happy that MANU vs ARSENAL is coming. lol. i swear i'm gonna laugh at jasonhoon if arsenal loses. hahah. his nick is like, time for the manchester massacre. KMA lah. go figure what that means you intellectuals. haha.

footballfever. at least its keeping me free from my other biggest distraction.

watched starship troopers on channel 5, and i realised its damn dumb. i used to like it, cos i thought it was quite a cool sci-fi show. but its like kinda too dumb to be sci-fi, when i look at it now. haha. and omg thedancefloor was damn lousy lah. the show didn't really have any appeal at all. and the auditions held in the open. haha omg.

soyouthinkyoucandance ownz.

can't wait. approximately 1 hours 53 mins left.

======

its coming.

this feels awful.

its late into the night again. why do days past so fast?

school today was boring as usual. essaywriting during triple gp period was totally, urgh. i did the hosting the major sporting event question, the one which mrpoh did. forgot to mention bout tourism, and got quite irked. but couldn't change cos i wrote an entire portion after the area i'm supposed to write in already. oh well don't care.

then after school went home with zha, and he ended up going for a run with me near my house. wasn't very long, just like 8 rounds. got quite tired today and zha ran like so far ahead at the end. maybe its cos i haven't been getting enough rest, plus the fact that i'm sick.

went for og bbq after that! rushed home to bathe and change then rushed to school, just in time to meet my crewlet. the sky looked so dull, and it started raining on our way there. thankfully the rain didn't last long! before eating we played stupid games like 007, some dongcakdongcak game, never ever have i ever (turned out to be reveal ivan's dirty little secrets game.) haha. yup. then didn't eat much of the bbq-ed food, just a few satay and hotdogs. ate beehoon and friedrice instead. but its confirm not worth 5 dollars. haha. ah well. its wasn't really about the food, but the fact that i got to talk to many people! all the yr1s i had previously never talked to before, plus people from my junior class as well.

let me recall their names: susanne, liting, cherish, jacky.

okay great i remember their names. got quite sociable, and camwhored quite a lil. then after all that proceeded with my crewlet to burger king! where we hung out and talked for awhile, before yuru's dad came to pick us up. thankfully. otherwise it'll be the long emo bus ride home.

seriously i think school and stuff is distracting me from thinking about it. maybe its a good thing. ricer says its good. i don't really know though.

there are many times when i see a line and it just triggers my thoughts. its just so unpredictable and i also don't know what to expect.

where am i being lead to?

okay i finally did some work today! kickstart to my consistent "mugging" year that i hope to achieve? possibly. hahah. haven't done work on my desk for a long time. oh well not say i did alot too, just studied chem and did 3 questions of chem tutorial. then did GP essay outline. never touch maths! thought i'm supposed to do too. wasted too much time earlier in the day. haha.

went to see a doctor today. he said that i have a very inflamed throat. sounds bad, feels bad as well. haha. shan't decribe the symptoms of my sickness, but then its urgh, disgusting to the eyes. haha. i want to recover asap! so i can start singing carefreely again.

i mean not that i don't sing now. just that i don't sing as well ):

singing is like everything to me. hahah. oh well bother. as long as i don't get onto the nerves of others with my persistent singing into their ears. i think sometimes i do though. lol.

ok random.

i really don't know what to type. argh. i need more rest.

the work is piling.

hey! what happened to all my faithful tagboard people! why aren't you tagging my board! ):

haha anyway i still haven't recovered. and i'm not helping myself either, because i sleep either too late, or i sing too much, or i eat too much unhealthy stuff. when oh when am i gonna recover if i continue being this way. lol. please miracle happen to me!

actually i don't really know what to blog now, cos my mind is quite blanked out. all i can think of is that tmr i'm taking weight and i'm glad i've made good progress in trying to eat slower and more proportionately, and also keeping fit by exercising. just ran 4.8 today and played bball! and didn't eat excessively. which is good. and its fun doing pullups, although i cannot do many. hahah.

okay what to say? i need sleep i need sleep. i think i should just go to bed now. haha.

hmm today's quite a happy day. thanks to you (:

i spent the entire weekends doing nothing productive and i guess i'm feeling quite bad about it.

was really in the mood just now to do something, but then i got hooked onto the day after tomorrow. but then again, now that the show is over, i feel like i'm kinda lost.

can't stop thinking about it, and each moment that passes by is just getting worse.

indeed its my greatest distraction. but what can i do about it?

i feel like i'm losing out. i'm falling out of this race.
please tell me i'm not?
i always end up being in this position. in the past, now as well.

i guess its all my fault.

another emo post. what the hell is wrong with me! freak. out.

i think its the rain thats making me feel, sibei-sian.

choir prac this morning was quite nice i guess. besides the shitty syf song, we sang o magnum. man that song is really woah damn nice. shan't elaborate further.

then had ogl outing after choir prac and we played pool and then ate dinner. then photowhored for awhile before everyone went home and i went home with charlottespidey. shan't elaborate further too.

shan't elaborate further. haha. man i dunno why i can't blog. maybe its cos i'm too tired.

wait, why am i even blogging now? hmm.
cosi'mfeelingemo.
sigh. why do i always find out stuff i'd rather not find out?

its tough having to put up with this, time and time again.

worstcasescenarios.

they seem to all come true for me.

i don't know what else to say.
feelinglost.
at least God knows how i'm feeling.

freak.

i'm caught up in this late night emoness again.

something that i've ONCE AGAIN created for myself.

human nature?

i'm wondering if all that i'm feeling would be worthwhile.

what would come of this in the end?

i wish i knew how to break this "curse".

i need prayer.

hmm. actually i don't know what aloe means as well. haha.

i think i'll never get a chance to go running. i've been feeling very enthusiastic these few days, but everytime there will be something that PREVENTS me from running. today is the rain. omg why won't the rain stop! came home at 4 today, then decided to take a nap. i PLANNED to wake up at 5.30 to go jogging. but in the end the rain just made me sleep more ): boo.

2 scary things happened to me today. gosh such an unlucky day.

firstly was when i came home on the 55, then when i alighted the bus, i discovered my HANDPHONE was nowhere to be found! in the end i ran after the bus which was driving away, but couldn't find it at where i was sitting. so feeling dejected, i alighted the bus once more. only to discover that my HANDPHONE was hidden in some other compartment!

close shave 1.

then just now i went to the coffeeshop to have dinner by myself. so lonely yes. then after eating i walked home in the rain right to my doorstep, only to realise my KEYS were not with me. so, i MOVED as fast as possible on the wet ground back to the coffeeshop (cos my slippers had 0 grip.) and LUCKILY, the uncle had picked it up for me.

close shave 2.

2 close shaves in 1 day. i could have died if i haven't been watched over. (by god) haha. thank god man.

======

i felt it again this afternoon. whywhywhy!

the feeling sucks.

to my mind: stop husiluanxianging.

off to the showers! (:

its only the 2nd week of school and work is piling! wow. wonder where i'm gonna find the motivation from. stupid econs project is now bugging my mind. the thought of zhili talking this afternoon, wanting to finish the project by tmr still scares me. sigh. haha. see how lim i reen reacts tmr. she's currently the last person i wanna see. lol.

had first choir prac with the yr ones today! and the enthusiastic me donned my cathigh uniform once again. felt really cooling for a change, since the shirt is much thinner than vj's, PLUS the most impt part of all, the shorts. haha. amazingly my pants was still as loose as ever, or even looser than it was in sec sch. gosh.

yup so tried to pretend to be a yr 1, but wasn't really into it cos i was kinda expecting ppl to know that i'm just a fake. haha. but yea the most impt thing is that i got to wear cathigh uniform (: hmm tried to sing but was kinda throaty, cos i'm still suffering from the after effects of orientation. and i just got back my voice today! on top of that i'm still suffering from symptoms of phlegm, runningnose, occasional headaches and throatpains. poormepoorme. I WANNA SING. please let me recover.

hmm and the sound was like errr. haha the tone of the yr 1s wasn't really nice. but anyway it was just the first prac, we'll all get better!

and i guess after today "chitchat", everyone would be more mindful of themselves. sigh. i felt the emoness running both on my left and my right. oh well, guess its all up to us now huh.

morewatermorewater! shall go get more water.

cyappl(:

ORIENTATION 1 OFFICIALLY OVER.

so sad. that means alot of things. no more cheering, no more having fun, no more nice year1s to interact with, no more not worrying about all the work and books that are piling up behind you. ARGH. WHY SO FAST.

anyway today was the best day of orientation! sea regatta was kinda fun, but people got cut everywhere on their feet cos of the LOUSY sand. dunking people is damn fun. hahaha. but yea the games weren't very bad, and we did mass dance after the whole thing at the beach! so cool right. oh yea and the bimbo charlottespidey crashed today. hope you had lotsa fun! haha.

okay after sea regatta the whole iago went to kallang KFC to have lunch and og interaction time. and since there was free refill of drinks available, we played games like 007 and 21, and everyone ended up drinking LOTS of softdrinks or whatever. haha. my stomach was so bloated after that.

mass dance at suntec well, was crazy as usual. everyone running around the fountain, spontaneous cheers here and there. haha sad thing was that i was suffering terribly from a headache due to my current streak of heatiness, and plus my throat was hurting bad. so i couldn't really enjoy myself ): but i'm sure lots of other people had fun. haha. saw choir people! kenny sx may and all.

well its back to school tmr and i have ALL TUTORIALS except one period lecture. sucks eh? haha.

and thanks for reminding me to blog (:

shit why the hell am i feeling so tired when i woke up at 12 today and still napped in the afternoon? its not even 1 oclock and my eyes are like shutting! must be the ogl-ing. freaking drains and sucks all your energy. haha. NEED TO RECOUP MY LOSSES. hopefully i don't fall asleep talking to you again argh.

okay i didn't blog for quite long already and i seriously have alot of things to report about! but i'm so not gonna type everything because its gonna be a damn long entry. haha. ANYWAY. orientation is ALMOST over. and the 3 days have been a hell of an experience. i mean, besides the great part of getting alot of work out from running around and dancing, being able to make new friends, meet new people was totally awesome. and then seeing your freshmen appreciating your help and support is even more awesome. woo iago and the ogls rawk.

iago came in second omg. we were last on the second day and we climbed 7 places to 2nd. wth the point system is seriously damn screwed up hahah. but doesn't really matter, as long as everyone enjoyed themselves! the yearones really loosened up on friday! esp at night at suntec when everyone was talkingtalking. before that as well. haha. great to see people settling in. yea.

oh yea and i met my junior class already. they look kinda fun. haha. we played a prank on them! yongsheng was like acting like this freakboy from vs with mohawk hair and sucking a lollipop, shiyi was a retarded ip student and farah was a DUNMAN HIGH student. totally planted among them. haha. and i dressed up like a toot before walking in. and TRIED to scold them after the laughter but it FAILED in the end thanks to some poor acting. hahaha. oh well.

i lied that my name was charlie wong. and that i'm the chairman of the med soc, and the HOTTIEculture society. haha like whats new? but they actually believed it. LOL.

shit really alot of things i can say but i'm lazy to type out :D

anyway today was the first time in a very long time i spent the whole morning and afternoon at home! totally slacked my ass off and was SUPER BORED. had a nice lunch with my dad though, bahkutteh. good thing was we talked, and HE PAID FOR THE LUNCH. woo. hahaha.

and then at 5 left for mass, which was celebrated by the nuncio. the pope's representative to southeastasia. cool eh, he visit my church leh. haha. but yea had some dinner after that, which was supposed to be some 10 course shit. TURNED OUT TO BE, high class 3 course meal. but still FREE. haha. had what? seafoodpasta, turkey, mushroomsoup, brownie, chicken. and funny the way it was served too. SUPER POOR SERVICE. cos served damn slow and alot of people got their food damn late! and some food was MISSING from the menu. bloody thing. hahaha. but ate my fill though. 2 and a half brownies omg, super sinful.

shall tell you all something i laughed about yesterday. something simple. lol. cos my mum and dad went to this wedding dinner at fullerton, and the gift was some teddy bear. then my mum came home holding 3 teddy bears and she wouldn't stop asking my dad, "cute right!". and then she still come and ask me. then she playplayplay with the bear then in the end she arrange on top of the tv and told me and my dad. "this is papa, this is you, this is me!" cos got 1 girl 2 boy. then me and my father diao. then my father said, "collect dust only la." then i laughed. haha.

okay random. but you'd only laugh if you were me i think. my parents are getting cuter these days.

IAGO OUTING TMR! at 12. rah. shall go after session and lunch!

hello mygaylover. haha!

FIRST DAY OF SCHOOL IS OFFICIALLY OVER. omg and what a tiring day it was. i feel so drained now. haha. but happy that i'm FREE FROM MY R PAPER YAY. okay maths wasn't quite a breeze but i have this feeling that i might pass. considering that i only started studying like yesterday, passing would be quite erm, okay. hahaha.

anyway during assembly this morning we met the new principal! he's so short and fat. haha. and when you look at him you're kind of expecting this low and sexy voice. but turns out his voice is quite ahgua. omg. lol ok shan't be so mean, his voice is kinda high. and err he speaks in such a refined manner its weird. PLUS, he's freaking naggy la, like jiaqing was saying. lol. and its only his first speech. SIGH, i'm foreseeing one more year of longwindedassemblys. lol.

IAGO INTERSPURSE! okay my group was kinda intimidating at first. because when i first stepped into the hall after my paper, i saw yuru sitting with them and there was like silence within the circle. and i'm like OMG why. haha. but yea OBVIOUSLY after i joined in it kinda got better for everyone, esp since i was like the only one interacting with them during lunch. lol. and we played stupid games, like zipzapzop, chopchilli, concentration. all the blahblah ones choir people like to play. LOL. ok la i'm kidding, i didn't make an immediate impact lol. but at least IAGO INTERSPURSE got more lively as the day went by, with more games, massdance and cheers. thank goodness phew, hope it gets better tmr.

its really INTIMIDATING when you have group of year 1s sitting in a circle facing you with blank stares. omg. and when you're the one who has to decide something to do, its kinda daunting lol. but no worries. I'M UP FOR THE TASK :D haha. i hope.

gosh i think ppl should be thankful that i created the EEEYAAAA cheer. cos its so easy to say, then everytime the gamemasters want a grp to cheer first, we always win. lol. but omg cheering today really SPOILED my voice. so sad i couldn't even sing the victorian anthem. ZAOSIA from first note to last. hahah. and i couldn't sing properly in the shower just now ):

ANYWAY mspoh's hair isn't ugly AT ALL. actually i think its like quite nice. hahah make it sound until so horrific online. FRESH NEW STYLE. cool. the product of 20 mins infront of the mirror in the morning. lol.

and i think i need a new template ): this is getting boring. someone help me make one! hahaha.

i'm off. cheers!

HAPPY TWOTHOUSANDANDSEVEN (:

i think i had sorta of a great 2006 because of many reasons. new friends, new experiences, new feelings, new things. jc life is really one of a kind, and i'm sorta enjoying it. (the non studying parts that is) thank god for choir too! what a blessing it has been.

anyway we had a great newyear's celebration at dawn's. lotsa nice food and drinks. the company was great too. haha we counted down and the first few seconds of 2007 was spent singing joy to the world. which is erm kinda weird, cos its new year not christmas. oh well. hahaha. but anyway we had alchohol and people got tipsy! esp dawn. who was quite high. hahah.

and then we had fun planning a birthday amazing race for weeyuting! we thought of many ways to scare her, but in the end she wasn't as scared as we would have imagined. because she had company! haha. but it was still fun and all. then after the amazing race we lighted 17 sparklers and sang her a birthday song in dawn's house. bet yuting was super touched. YOU SHOULD BE. hahaha. and then we had brownie and apple crumble. a super sinful new year's celebration i should say. but i enjoyed it (:

i lost my pick again ): i keep losing my picks rawr. and this time its my fav white soft pick! boohoo. can't play my lovely guitar properly. anyway kris just sent me manymany songs yay. all so nice. haha thanks krissay (: lips of an angel woo!

anyway i think i've got a few new year resolutions. here they are:
1. run 3 times per week.
2. sing better
3. do my tutorials and study
4. love my parents more
5. stop getting distracted by the com
6. get gold for napfa again

okay i think there's so much more i need to do. but for now its just these. hopefully it'll be a good year ahead!

lookingforwardtoorientationyay.