hello i'm back.

i really don't know what to say now because within me its like a mixture of great happiness and sadness at the same time.

happy because of God's goodness and by his grace we managed to have such a successful and meaningful mission trip. it was really a touching experience, something that i will hold on to for the rest of my life. and it was fantastic log bonding period of time! we had 4 days of mission work. 2 days at an orphanage and the next 2 days at another orphanage, with aids children. last day was spent touring, and amazing to say, it was the worst day of the trip. haha. i think all of us wanted to go back to the homes. it was really emotional, having to leave them after building relationships and friendships with them and all. and i guess that was really the sad part. many of us teared or cried, watching them wave at us and shouting "i love you!" with one voice as we drove away on the bus.

guess i won't go into the details but there were really a lot of different incidents which touched me. incidents which happened to me, and other people as well. i guess sharing at night really helped each of us (:

well don't think that these kids are worse than us. indeed they have much greater crosses to carry in life, but they are so child-like, so innocent. and some of them are so mature as well, 13 year olds who know they are going to die at 30, but still continue living life to the fullest. i guess it was only after this experience that i finally realise how precious life is, and how painful it is to be rejected by society. who are we to judge? we are all equal in God's eyes.

and on top of that. i'm really sad because i missed choir farewell, the tealight session, everything. i think i might have been one of those who would have cried if i had been there. hah. i would have had so many things to say, so many things to recount, so many things to share. but now all i feel is the silence of my bedroom, and the feeling of having missed what could have been one of the most memorable nights ever.

its actually quite meaningless to say those things now, because the time is already over. anyway i guess many other seniors would have said the same thing,

to be strong.
to be passionate.
to have a love for the song.
to have heart and emotion in every single melody.
to have a love for singing.
to have respect and love, for the choir as well as each other.

no one is unworthy of this choir. everyone deserves a place, as long as you keep the fire burning within. don't let it die! let the passion for singing and the friends within drive you on (: conflicts will occur, people will get hurt, the politics will drive you crazy. but, tolerate and be patient with each other and all things can be solved eventually. you are all in the choir for one common purpose, to die. and when i say die i mean to die having slogged your guts out, encountering difficult obstacles one after another, obstacles that will really kill you and make you feel like quitting.

well no one said it was going to be easy right? but it is only with dying, that you can fully enjoy everything that you will achieve. no doubt, you guys have already done vjchoir proud, but i'm sure in the future, it will be the same (:

i pray all of you will endure the trials and that great reward will come upon everyone at the end of it all (:

sounds like all of you guys have fallen into this death trap. work hard to be reborn! haha.

i was really sad before i left for mission, and quite sad on the 28th as well. but probably i shouldn't, because the emotions and feelings and experiences that i've felt within this choir had been keeping me alive for the past 2 years. every person i've come to meet has been special in their own way, and have made a difference in my life. so i thank all of you, my fellow year 2s and beloved juniors and nelson. and all these will become memories that i will cling on to for the rest of my life. so i thank God for making me part of this family (:

well, i probably made a worthy sacrifice too. mission wasn't so bad after all. in actual fact, it was really a fantastic experience. i've learnt alot the past 5 days.

alright its 5.20am. guess its time to sleep. haha. photos up soon! and thank you brother jude for everything you've done and you most powerful reflection ever. i copied it (:

Labels: delayedemotions.

YAY i finally went for confession after 1 and a half years. feels quite great to let go of everything. haha. thank goodness catholics have confession.

anyway i was keyboard saikang warrior during church camp. i think i played keyboard for almost everything everyday. didn't really have the chance to worship god by standing and raising my hands but i guess it was alright. keyboard is probably as good a way (:

i guess the camp really made a difference to me. at least it pulled me away from all the distractions that was keeping me away from god, to really ponder through my purpose in life. god really works many marvels but its really so easy for us to lose faith, to lose trust. and i'm thankful i've gained back some of that after the camp. yay (:

oh and i think cornerstoners are fun people as well, after this camp. finally got to know some of them better. haha. hopefully the youth ministry in sfx will scale to greater heights! wheehoo.

I can almost see,
Your Holiness,
As i look around this place.

With my arms stretched out,
To receive your love,
I can see you face to face.

Spirit of God, lift me up,
Spirit of God, lift me up,
Fill me again with your love,
Sweet spirit of God.

totally stuck in my head right now. haha. this is what playing it a gazillion times can do to you.

Labels: mightytosave.

sigh this cannot be happening. cannotcannot.

cannot let it happen.

shit man dangerous stuff.

Labels: rah.

i was just clearing my room today and i started reading some of the cards and notes people wrote to me last year. and boy i realised i was such an emoboy. almost everyone told me to stop emoing. haha. funny.

anyway that feels so distant already. i'm not the person i was before back then.

and somehow i'm glad things ended up this way.

AND STOP TALKING BEHIND MY BACK rah. lol. its not like it affects me. haiyo.

soooo over it already.

Labels: tryingtobesensitive.

okay. first blogpost in 16354694651981 years.

its my last day in perth! (yay.) and i seriously can't wait to get back to singapore.

here's a list of what i miss. i miss:
my friends.
my com.
my bed.

okay thats about it? hahaha. whatever i just want to go back.

and perth ain't that boring actually. just that there are 1654984564981215984 houseflies here. THAT ATTACK YOUR FRIGGIN FACE AND EARHOLES AND NOSEHOLES AND MOUTH AND EYES. rah. irritating. i want to escape. lol.

i'm splurging alot on shopping. and when i say alot i mean alot. hahaha. NONE FOR ANYONE ELSE ALL FOR ME.

nah kidding.

and i just won 10 australian bucks in the casino. yay?

hehe see you guys soon (:

Labels: Hello Look Here.

hello i'm back.

i really don't know what to say now because within me its like a mixture of great happiness and sadness at the same time.

happy because of God's goodness and by his grace we managed to have such a successful and meaningful mission trip. it was really a touching experience, something that i will hold on to for the rest of my life. and it was fantastic log bonding period of time! we had 4 days of mission work. 2 days at an orphanage and the next 2 days at another orphanage, with aids children. last day was spent touring, and amazing to say, it was the worst day of the trip. haha. i think all of us wanted to go back to the homes. it was really emotional, having to leave them after building relationships and friendships with them and all. and i guess that was really the sad part. many of us teared or cried, watching them wave at us and shouting "i love you!" with one voice as we drove away on the bus.

guess i won't go into the details but there were really a lot of different incidents which touched me. incidents which happened to me, and other people as well. i guess sharing at night really helped each of us (:

well don't think that these kids are worse than us. indeed they have much greater crosses to carry in life, but they are so child-like, so innocent. and some of them are so mature as well, 13 year olds who know they are going to die at 30, but still continue living life to the fullest. i guess it was only after this experience that i finally realise how precious life is, and how painful it is to be rejected by society. who are we to judge? we are all equal in God's eyes.

and on top of that. i'm really sad because i missed choir farewell, the tealight session, everything. i think i might have been one of those who would have cried if i had been there. hah. i would have had so many things to say, so many things to recount, so many things to share. but now all i feel is the silence of my bedroom, and the feeling of having missed what could have been one of the most memorable nights ever.

its actually quite meaningless to say those things now, because the time is already over. anyway i guess many other seniors would have said the same thing,

to be strong.
to be passionate.
to have a love for the song.
to have heart and emotion in every single melody.
to have a love for singing.
to have respect and love, for the choir as well as each other.

no one is unworthy of this choir. everyone deserves a place, as long as you keep the fire burning within. don't let it die! let the passion for singing and the friends within drive you on (: conflicts will occur, people will get hurt, the politics will drive you crazy. but, tolerate and be patient with each other and all things can be solved eventually. you are all in the choir for one common purpose, to die. and when i say die i mean to die having slogged your guts out, encountering difficult obstacles one after another, obstacles that will really kill you and make you feel like quitting.

well no one said it was going to be easy right? but it is only with dying, that you can fully enjoy everything that you will achieve. no doubt, you guys have already done vjchoir proud, but i'm sure in the future, it will be the same (:

i pray all of you will endure the trials and that great reward will come upon everyone at the end of it all (:

sounds like all of you guys have fallen into this death trap. work hard to be reborn! haha.

i was really sad before i left for mission, and quite sad on the 28th as well. but probably i shouldn't, because the emotions and feelings and experiences that i've felt within this choir had been keeping me alive for the past 2 years. every person i've come to meet has been special in their own way, and have made a difference in my life. so i thank all of you, my fellow year 2s and beloved juniors and nelson. and all these will become memories that i will cling on to for the rest of my life. so i thank God for making me part of this family (:

well, i probably made a worthy sacrifice too. mission wasn't so bad after all. in actual fact, it was really a fantastic experience. i've learnt alot the past 5 days.

alright its 5.20am. guess its time to sleep. haha. photos up soon! and thank you brother jude for everything you've done and you most powerful reflection ever. i copied it (:

Labels: delayedemotions.

YAY i finally went for confession after 1 and a half years. feels quite great to let go of everything. haha. thank goodness catholics have confession.

anyway i was keyboard saikang warrior during church camp. i think i played keyboard for almost everything everyday. didn't really have the chance to worship god by standing and raising my hands but i guess it was alright. keyboard is probably as good a way (:

i guess the camp really made a difference to me. at least it pulled me away from all the distractions that was keeping me away from god, to really ponder through my purpose in life. god really works many marvels but its really so easy for us to lose faith, to lose trust. and i'm thankful i've gained back some of that after the camp. yay (:

oh and i think cornerstoners are fun people as well, after this camp. finally got to know some of them better. haha. hopefully the youth ministry in sfx will scale to greater heights! wheehoo.

I can almost see,
Your Holiness,
As i look around this place.

With my arms stretched out,
To receive your love,
I can see you face to face.

Spirit of God, lift me up,
Spirit of God, lift me up,
Fill me again with your love,
Sweet spirit of God.

totally stuck in my head right now. haha. this is what playing it a gazillion times can do to you.

Labels: mightytosave.

sigh this cannot be happening. cannotcannot.

cannot let it happen.

shit man dangerous stuff.

Labels: rah.

i was just clearing my room today and i started reading some of the cards and notes people wrote to me last year. and boy i realised i was such an emoboy. almost everyone told me to stop emoing. haha. funny.

anyway that feels so distant already. i'm not the person i was before back then.

and somehow i'm glad things ended up this way.

AND STOP TALKING BEHIND MY BACK rah. lol. its not like it affects me. haiyo.

soooo over it already.

Labels: tryingtobesensitive.

okay. first blogpost in 16354694651981 years.

its my last day in perth! (yay.) and i seriously can't wait to get back to singapore.

here's a list of what i miss. i miss:
my friends.
my com.
my bed.

okay thats about it? hahaha. whatever i just want to go back.

and perth ain't that boring actually. just that there are 1654984564981215984 houseflies here. THAT ATTACK YOUR FRIGGIN FACE AND EARHOLES AND NOSEHOLES AND MOUTH AND EYES. rah. irritating. i want to escape. lol.

i'm splurging alot on shopping. and when i say alot i mean alot. hahaha. NONE FOR ANYONE ELSE ALL FOR ME.

nah kidding.

and i just won 10 australian bucks in the casino. yay?

hehe see you guys soon (:

Labels: Hello Look Here.