hey! how come so many people aren't wearing green. we're supposed to support the fight against global warming! haha. alright neither did i. only reason is because the only green shirt i have was the one i bought from italy last year, which is green and PINK. so totally gay. and i've only worn it once ever since i bought it, don't think i'm wearing it ever again. haha.

alright its pouring like mad outside my window right now, and i'm stuck at home feeling all restless, bored, worried, emotional. guess its a culmination of so many things thats been happening for the past few weeks or days. i have yet to pack my notes since the end of CT2s and theres been something in my head saying GO PACK but obviously i'm too lazy. my table is seriously in a mess ah and i don't think i can do any work till i've cleared it up. EXCUSES EXCUSES EXCUSES.

there's really not much time left to prelims i realise. and there are SO many things i need to touch up on, if i really want to do well. i think i've let myself down again this CT2s and its like shit, theres no longer any chance to redeem myself before prelims. guess i should have taken things more seriously from the beginning. AYE. feel sad when i see people around me getting good results but i'm not.

and i succumbed to laziness this morning, deciding not to wake up to go for mass because of how tired i was feeling. and then now again i don't feel like going in the evening because i just feel like staying put at home, and maybe laze my guts out or something. but then again if i don't go my mum will kill me for sure, so she's going to send me there at 5.30. AH. whats becoming of me. i don't even want to go mass.

the devil is one strong son of a bitch. i remember, there was a time when i used to pray (quite) regularly, attended daily mass, said my graces before meals, praise god for every single good little thing that happened to me. if only i could get this level of spirituality back, cos it makes me feel in sync with everything around me, be it school, friends or whatever. no problem seemed big enough for me, and there were no prolonged periods of sadness. aye.

this is why they say, God give you comfort. and i do need that comfort right now i guess.

i wonder how come i get so irritated easily these days, and how come i seem to think differently about certain things. is it part of growing up, or is my brain getting screwed up? i don't know. but thank goodness there always seems to be something pulling me back from that one wrong step that could ruin things around me, one by one.

theres also always this fear. i've been trying to keep things going, and hopefully there would be a chance to make things happen. but that chance never seems to come. haha.

patience is the word. patience.

alright this has been one long entry. and i think i spent more time thinking about the stuff going on in my life than typing. haha. what can i do? we all have to cope with our lives. if you're not gonna end it, live it.

okay i realise i don't feel any better now. and i thought blogging would improve my mood. haha. ah well. hopefully mass would.

time to change the mindset and move the feet people!

Labels: getitgoing.

hey! how come so many people aren't wearing green. we're supposed to support the fight against global warming! haha. alright neither did i. only reason is because the only green shirt i have was the one i bought from italy last year, which is green and PINK. so totally gay. and i've only worn it once ever since i bought it, don't think i'm wearing it ever again. haha.

alright its pouring like mad outside my window right now, and i'm stuck at home feeling all restless, bored, worried, emotional. guess its a culmination of so many things thats been happening for the past few weeks or days. i have yet to pack my notes since the end of CT2s and theres been something in my head saying GO PACK but obviously i'm too lazy. my table is seriously in a mess ah and i don't think i can do any work till i've cleared it up. EXCUSES EXCUSES EXCUSES.

there's really not much time left to prelims i realise. and there are SO many things i need to touch up on, if i really want to do well. i think i've let myself down again this CT2s and its like shit, theres no longer any chance to redeem myself before prelims. guess i should have taken things more seriously from the beginning. AYE. feel sad when i see people around me getting good results but i'm not.

and i succumbed to laziness this morning, deciding not to wake up to go for mass because of how tired i was feeling. and then now again i don't feel like going in the evening because i just feel like staying put at home, and maybe laze my guts out or something. but then again if i don't go my mum will kill me for sure, so she's going to send me there at 5.30. AH. whats becoming of me. i don't even want to go mass.

the devil is one strong son of a bitch. i remember, there was a time when i used to pray (quite) regularly, attended daily mass, said my graces before meals, praise god for every single good little thing that happened to me. if only i could get this level of spirituality back, cos it makes me feel in sync with everything around me, be it school, friends or whatever. no problem seemed big enough for me, and there were no prolonged periods of sadness. aye.

this is why they say, God give you comfort. and i do need that comfort right now i guess.

i wonder how come i get so irritated easily these days, and how come i seem to think differently about certain things. is it part of growing up, or is my brain getting screwed up? i don't know. but thank goodness there always seems to be something pulling me back from that one wrong step that could ruin things around me, one by one.

theres also always this fear. i've been trying to keep things going, and hopefully there would be a chance to make things happen. but that chance never seems to come. haha.

patience is the word. patience.

alright this has been one long entry. and i think i spent more time thinking about the stuff going on in my life than typing. haha. what can i do? we all have to cope with our lives. if you're not gonna end it, live it.

okay i realise i don't feel any better now. and i thought blogging would improve my mood. haha. ah well. hopefully mass would.

time to change the mindset and move the feet people!

Labels: getitgoing.