haven't blogged in a long time. oh well guess its time.

today was such a waste of time. i went to school at 7, slept at the gym alley till 8. and then after that decided to pon the rest of the entire day's lessons. so in the end i only attended chem tutorial. wasn't alone! thats the best thing. haha. today is the first day i've ponned a lecture, and i've ponned so many in one shot. remarkable. lol.

anyway post promos are seriously shit. its not about the boring lessons and having nothing to do. its the impact of results. not on myself, but on the people around me. in class, in choir i've got friends getting results that don't allow you to get promoted. some want to leave, some are lost, some don't know what to do. at times like these i wish i could help my friends, but i can't ): i don't want any single of them to leave, neither do i want them to get retained. seeing people cry over their results seriously wrenches my heart but i really don't know what to say to make them feel better.

i feel freaking useless.

my results aren't too bad when i think about other people around me. i can consider myself to be lucky. i seriously can't stand it when people who pass everything and get like Ds or Cs or even As complain about results and go about whining and all, suaning other people. i mean please be more sensitive in what you say, cos actually there are many others around you who WANT your results, yet you want better.

its a selfish thought. but please be sensitive. i can't stand insensitive bitches.

i wish praying could help my friends. i know praying to God would help. but the worst thing is that now i'm not even in the right spiritual mindset to pray for people. i'm dead spiritually and i feel as if i'm alone in this world. even when i'm typing this entry now (and talking to jes at the same time), i feel so freakin lonely, so lost, so tired. what have i done with my life suddenly? what happened to the warmth and the joy? i have no one to talk to. i don't want to ignore God, but i feel unworthy.

unworthiness. does it even end?

its gonna be a long journey this holidays. don't even talk about holidays, haven't even done my OP presentation when its like due next wed. so many things, so little time. i don't even think i will have time for God, for church these holidays. i'm gonna miss all of you churchies. choir, ogl (thats if i make it), seriously i'll barely have space to breathe.

to all my friends out there feeling dejected with results, whatever.

sorry if i haven't done enough to make you feel better.

but look on the positive side.

cos i don't wanna lose you guys.

God please protect them.

haven't blogged in a long time. oh well guess its time.

today was such a waste of time. i went to school at 7, slept at the gym alley till 8. and then after that decided to pon the rest of the entire day's lessons. so in the end i only attended chem tutorial. wasn't alone! thats the best thing. haha. today is the first day i've ponned a lecture, and i've ponned so many in one shot. remarkable. lol.

anyway post promos are seriously shit. its not about the boring lessons and having nothing to do. its the impact of results. not on myself, but on the people around me. in class, in choir i've got friends getting results that don't allow you to get promoted. some want to leave, some are lost, some don't know what to do. at times like these i wish i could help my friends, but i can't ): i don't want any single of them to leave, neither do i want them to get retained. seeing people cry over their results seriously wrenches my heart but i really don't know what to say to make them feel better.

i feel freaking useless.

my results aren't too bad when i think about other people around me. i can consider myself to be lucky. i seriously can't stand it when people who pass everything and get like Ds or Cs or even As complain about results and go about whining and all, suaning other people. i mean please be more sensitive in what you say, cos actually there are many others around you who WANT your results, yet you want better.

its a selfish thought. but please be sensitive. i can't stand insensitive bitches.

i wish praying could help my friends. i know praying to God would help. but the worst thing is that now i'm not even in the right spiritual mindset to pray for people. i'm dead spiritually and i feel as if i'm alone in this world. even when i'm typing this entry now (and talking to jes at the same time), i feel so freakin lonely, so lost, so tired. what have i done with my life suddenly? what happened to the warmth and the joy? i have no one to talk to. i don't want to ignore God, but i feel unworthy.

unworthiness. does it even end?

its gonna be a long journey this holidays. don't even talk about holidays, haven't even done my OP presentation when its like due next wed. so many things, so little time. i don't even think i will have time for God, for church these holidays. i'm gonna miss all of you churchies. choir, ogl (thats if i make it), seriously i'll barely have space to breathe.

to all my friends out there feeling dejected with results, whatever.

sorry if i haven't done enough to make you feel better.

but look on the positive side.

cos i don't wanna lose you guys.

God please protect them.