NOT BEEN UPDATING.

gosh i'm so tired. dunno why i'm so tired. I'M SO TIRED.

i need energy pills.

i need motivation pills.

i wish i could stop thinking so much.

i wish i had more time.

i wish i had everything in control. EVERYTHING.

argh.

============

HAPPY BIRTHDAY SHEENA!
though most prob you won't see this. haha

============

i just wanna make you proud.

haha my blog here needs an update.

well sad to say its 38 days left to promos and i'm nowhere near promotion. so much left to study, so much left to work on. gosh i wonder how i'm going to make it. everyday is just so tiring and even by this time my eyes feel like closing and i feel like dozing off. rah. i need to start burning the midnight oil man, i must and i shall!

anyway i've decided to play for the band for family tree day. they've been really welcoming and all for the past 2 days, when i've been in and out of the band room trying to catch up on some tuba playing. haha nice feeling i get, but still abit lost in there. oh well its only till next sat. man i do hope i can live up to expectations, i'm not playing as well as i could have, but i think its still ok. I HOPE.

and SHIT! i'm freaking losing my voice, no idea why too. haven't been singing much these few days, shouldn't my voice be well rested? haha. singing in choir has been quite a challenge and i'm still kinda adjusting to the singing part, TRYING hard to improve my technicality. haha never knew there was technicality involved in singing before i joined choir. oh well.

this post has been super random. and i wish i could be closer to God for some reason. haven't been praying for the past few days, which is BAD. whats wrong with me!

argh.

lets hope this lasts.

i wanna be happy bout some things, or just one thing, but sometimes its quite hard esp when you have so many thoughts on your mind.

i just feel like pouring out, but it seems like no one can really understand what i'm going through? except god? i miss so many things, i miss the good life, a wonderful relationship with god, friends...so many things.

school isn't all that happy either. today i screwed my chem test, wanted to do well but don't think i can anymore. such a morale breaker. choir is just all about singing. i miss those times when i could at least do something more and not just be a normal member, watching everyone go about doing stuff when i myself have no part to play in, its not really a good feeling for me. maybe because i joined late? but since things have turned out this way, theres nothing i can do too. blame it on the fact that i've never been so low key before. oh well. can't believe i'm fretting over the unimportant things in life.

then again the band people asked me to play for them cos they have no tuba player. one part of me wants to do it, but another part tells me not to. i've been hearing all the talk bout me being a very very good player but i don't see it happening for me, boosted by the fact that i haven't touched that instrument for almost a year. i can't live up to expectations, i'm pressurised, i really dunno what i should do.

all these thoughts ain't doing any good for me. and why must they come now and distract me from my studies? i don't even feel like studying, although i have loads to catch up on. i wish i knew what to do, i wish i could feel better, i wish.

god help me!

remember this layout people? haha my first ever layout. kinda got bored of my previous one so decided to change. its cute but yuting says its not me but i don't care! hahah back to the old days!

anyway i seriously need to plan for sunday's session. aye group is dwindling, and i hope i can focus on certain stuff too.

some things aren't that important anymore i guess. or at least for the time being.

time to prioritise!

god guide me..

i need a few new stuff.

1. highlighters
2. television
3. mouse

my mouse is so irritating argh! haha.

i wanna do superposition but i can't get off the com! stupid com stupid com stupid com!

my entries these days are so...ranty.

and i wonder if i'm oblivious to certain things. am i? hope i'm not aye.

if only i could know what's happening, or what's gonna happen.

everything's so clouded, so shrouded, so unclear.

i can't help but think but thinking doesn't help either. what helps then?

i need a new direction. or am i in the right one now?

somebody please show me.

the past, the present, the future.

so many things for me to think about.

so confusing, so...weird.

when i look back at the past, i think about the present.

when i look at the present i think about the future.

what is all this. am i forgetting its god's plan?

relationships, risky and complex.

promos, scary.

life without god, unfathomable.

i think i need some comfort.

ah yes finally an update.

shucks national day is over, JUST LIKE THAT. why must holidays always past so fast. haha. anyway, THANK YOU EVERYONE who wished me yesterday, couldn't reply to everyone cos my phone was overflowing with messages. haha THANKS anyway to all of you (:

suddenly i have nothing to blog about. actually many things have been happening the past few days, just that i come home too lazy to do anything. then once you update late, the feeling's already gone. hahah then just like that, your mean updating streak is broken. kinda sad.

oh yah! thank you to zhili jiaqing and shiyi for the booby tissue holder, haha i think i'm gonna hang it up in my room. thanks to the choir people for the topman belt, its really nice (: bet elroy chose it. hahaha. and thank you to you two for the treat yesterday! enjoyed the time spent together more than the food though. puke man haha.

ah well in all national days are getting better each year :D at least no mahjong this year. haha praise god!

=========

pictures pictures!



scuttle the ship! haha.


don't i just look sad. lol.


now i look like i'm anticipating something.


sit down final pose! nice.



clique table!


haha dawn's butt is jutting out. ouch.


we're doing dawn's pignose pose. haha she's distressed.


zha's trademark EEE. at yuting. lol.


marie! haha gonna miss you.


all the cool bags. (cept huping's washboard bag:P) haha.


look at that sexay pose.


wanting shuwei me



retarded round photo. elroy's good. haha.

tagged by YUTING so i have or i choose to do this stupid quiz. here i go here i go.

1. how old do you wish you were?
i don't know. i kinda love my age right now. haha but maybe i'll prefer to be 21 as fast as possible.

2. where were you when 9/11 happened?
erm i remember waking up that morning to see my mum watching the news. she was crying omg! and i was kinda unfeeling bout the whole thing. oh well sad.

3. what do you do when vending machines steal you money?
sometimes i sulk and curse. i don't like to kick machines haha. i'll just go complain to the whoever.

4. do you consider yourself kind?
yes i'm quite kind. or very. hahaha. i'm very nice to all my friends la. RIGHT RIGHT? haha.

5. if you had to get a tattoo, where would it be?
on my back. haha it'll look quite cool.

6. if you could be fluent in any other language (other than english), what would it be?
french! although i took german as 3rd lang in sec 1 and sec 2. was my second choice. french was first. haha.

7. do you know your neighbours?
yes i do haha. basically the one opposite me have their television on for 24 hours. downstairs is the maple story kid and the neighbour whose house is all white. haha right. i basically know everyone around me.

8. what do you consider going on a vacation?
no homework, no stress, just friends, sights and fun! (:

9. do you follow your horoscope?
erm no. i don't really bother. haha god is my horoscope.

10. would you move for the person you love?
yes i will. hahah why not, i give in to the people i like easily.

11. are you touchy feely?
don't quite understand what that means. but i guess no. hahaha.

12. do you believe that opposites attract?
of course. haha. god made it this way.

13. dream job?
erm basically i'm heading nowhere right now la. TOTALLY no idea what i want to do in the future, even after today's career fair. although i wish i could own some big company. or be a radio dj or a celebrity or something. haha.

14. favourite channels?
haha erm i like channel 8 serials. and channel 5! and ESPN cos of the soccer and sportcenter. i don't watch many shows. haha.

15. favourite place to go on weekends?
don't usually go out cos sunday is always church. but church is my favourite place alright (:

16. showers or baths?
baths are nice. last bath i had was in japan last last year! hahaha soak soak.

17. do you paint your own nails?
no obviously not. but my nails got painted on before by some overly-excited females. haha.

18. do you trust ppl easily?
nope. but i've got quite a number of trustworthy friends.

19. what are your phobias?
screwing up my studies. aye.

20. do you want kids?
haha no idea. don't really know how to handle kids right now, though most of them love me (:

21. do you have a handwritten journal?
haha no. can't ever have one cos i would be too lazy to write on it.

22. where would you rather be right now?
i wish i could be in heaven where there's no pain. just god, and happiness. haha.

23. who makes you feel warm and fuzzy?
haha erm that special someone?

24. heavy or light sleeper?
heavy if i want to. haha but usually moderate.

25. are you paranoid?
not really. but erm haha can't help but feel anxious everytime i do something wrong.

26. are you impatient?
nope not really i guess. impatient maybe with parents haha but not with friends.

27. who can you relate to?
churchies and some choir people. love them.

28. how do feel abt inter-racial couples?
ah no comments. haha.

29. have you ever be burnt by love?
i guess? hahah but nothing is exposed.

30. what's your life motto?
do what you love and what is right, and do it for god.

31. what's your main ring tone on your mobile?
er some random ringtone la. haha lost my K750i )):

32. what were you doing at midnight last night?
erm awake online chatting. as usual.

33. who was your last text message frm?
ricer.

34. whose bed did you sleep in last night?
erm mine la then. haha

35. what colour shirt are you wearing?
my thunderhead motorcycle shirt.

36. name three things you have on you AT ALL TIMES.
my chain, my specs and my brain. haha.

37. what colour are your bed sheets?
erm some funny colour. wanna change!

38. how much cash do you have on you right now?
erm 20 bucks left. i'm running out of cash, as usual ):

39. what is your favourite part of the chicken?
haha erm the middle part in btw the wing and the drumstick. the meat there is nice!

40. what's your favourite town/city?
Riva Del Garda in Italy. best memories ever.

41. i can't wait till ...
i finally graduate with good results and university. and settling down in life.

42. who got you on friendster?
can't remember. hahah some friend of mine?

43. what did you have for dinner last night?
erm home cooked food. aunty betty's cooking again, yummy. haha.

44. how tall are you?
1.8 as measured. but looks shorter than that. wonder why. maybe i cheated when measuring. hahaha.

45. have you ever smoked heroin?
nope. not gonna.

46. do you own a gun?
erm no. haha. waste of space, i aint killin anyone.

47. what do you prefer to drink in the morning?
erm haha the warm soya bean milk in vj. whenever george offers to buy.

48. what is your secret weapon to lure the opposite sex?
my sexy lips! hahaha. no la i dunno.

49. do you have A.D.D?
no idea what the hell is that.

50. what time did you wake up this morning?
6.15. haha had to rush AGAIN. sucks.

51. current worry?
my studies.

52. favourite place to be?
italy italy. riva. and church.

53. where would you like to travel?
i wanna go to so many many places aye. i'd love to go overseas with my friends one day, to europe again or usa.

54. what do you think you'll be like in 10-yrs time?
ten years hmmm. hahah can't think so far as yet.

55. last thing you ate?
quarter chicken and ice cream at breeks! aye fattening. i'm supposed to be dieting.

56. what songs do you sing in the shower?
hahah anything that i can sing well. any random song that just pops into my head la. love to sing in the shower man.

57. last person that made you laugh?
choir people haha. we're a funny and horny bunch.

58. worst injury you ever had?
erm slipped on the road in primary school and got a gash? haha scar still on my shin. till now. huge.

59. does someone have a crush on you?
i don't know man. hahaha if you do you've made the right choice. LOL. okay choir just makes me all so shameless.

60. how did you find this quiz?
from yuting. ARGH FINALLY DONE. hahaha. praise god!

=======

choir treat today at breeks! really fun, lotsa laughter and jokes. really enjoyed the company of everyone haha. great clique we have. long time since we all sat down and had a good time, well we got a chance today! anyway its late so i'm off now. haha thank god for everything that's happened today. takkare all you peeps out there!

NOT BEEN UPDATING.

gosh i'm so tired. dunno why i'm so tired. I'M SO TIRED.

i need energy pills.

i need motivation pills.

i wish i could stop thinking so much.

i wish i had more time.

i wish i had everything in control. EVERYTHING.

argh.

============

HAPPY BIRTHDAY SHEENA!
though most prob you won't see this. haha

============

i just wanna make you proud.

haha my blog here needs an update.

well sad to say its 38 days left to promos and i'm nowhere near promotion. so much left to study, so much left to work on. gosh i wonder how i'm going to make it. everyday is just so tiring and even by this time my eyes feel like closing and i feel like dozing off. rah. i need to start burning the midnight oil man, i must and i shall!

anyway i've decided to play for the band for family tree day. they've been really welcoming and all for the past 2 days, when i've been in and out of the band room trying to catch up on some tuba playing. haha nice feeling i get, but still abit lost in there. oh well its only till next sat. man i do hope i can live up to expectations, i'm not playing as well as i could have, but i think its still ok. I HOPE.

and SHIT! i'm freaking losing my voice, no idea why too. haven't been singing much these few days, shouldn't my voice be well rested? haha. singing in choir has been quite a challenge and i'm still kinda adjusting to the singing part, TRYING hard to improve my technicality. haha never knew there was technicality involved in singing before i joined choir. oh well.

this post has been super random. and i wish i could be closer to God for some reason. haven't been praying for the past few days, which is BAD. whats wrong with me!

argh.

lets hope this lasts.

i wanna be happy bout some things, or just one thing, but sometimes its quite hard esp when you have so many thoughts on your mind.

i just feel like pouring out, but it seems like no one can really understand what i'm going through? except god? i miss so many things, i miss the good life, a wonderful relationship with god, friends...so many things.

school isn't all that happy either. today i screwed my chem test, wanted to do well but don't think i can anymore. such a morale breaker. choir is just all about singing. i miss those times when i could at least do something more and not just be a normal member, watching everyone go about doing stuff when i myself have no part to play in, its not really a good feeling for me. maybe because i joined late? but since things have turned out this way, theres nothing i can do too. blame it on the fact that i've never been so low key before. oh well. can't believe i'm fretting over the unimportant things in life.

then again the band people asked me to play for them cos they have no tuba player. one part of me wants to do it, but another part tells me not to. i've been hearing all the talk bout me being a very very good player but i don't see it happening for me, boosted by the fact that i haven't touched that instrument for almost a year. i can't live up to expectations, i'm pressurised, i really dunno what i should do.

all these thoughts ain't doing any good for me. and why must they come now and distract me from my studies? i don't even feel like studying, although i have loads to catch up on. i wish i knew what to do, i wish i could feel better, i wish.

god help me!

remember this layout people? haha my first ever layout. kinda got bored of my previous one so decided to change. its cute but yuting says its not me but i don't care! hahah back to the old days!

anyway i seriously need to plan for sunday's session. aye group is dwindling, and i hope i can focus on certain stuff too.

some things aren't that important anymore i guess. or at least for the time being.

time to prioritise!

god guide me..

i need a few new stuff.

1. highlighters
2. television
3. mouse

my mouse is so irritating argh! haha.

i wanna do superposition but i can't get off the com! stupid com stupid com stupid com!

my entries these days are so...ranty.

and i wonder if i'm oblivious to certain things. am i? hope i'm not aye.

if only i could know what's happening, or what's gonna happen.

everything's so clouded, so shrouded, so unclear.

i can't help but think but thinking doesn't help either. what helps then?

i need a new direction. or am i in the right one now?

somebody please show me.

the past, the present, the future.

so many things for me to think about.

so confusing, so...weird.

when i look back at the past, i think about the present.

when i look at the present i think about the future.

what is all this. am i forgetting its god's plan?

relationships, risky and complex.

promos, scary.

life without god, unfathomable.

i think i need some comfort.

ah yes finally an update.

shucks national day is over, JUST LIKE THAT. why must holidays always past so fast. haha. anyway, THANK YOU EVERYONE who wished me yesterday, couldn't reply to everyone cos my phone was overflowing with messages. haha THANKS anyway to all of you (:

suddenly i have nothing to blog about. actually many things have been happening the past few days, just that i come home too lazy to do anything. then once you update late, the feeling's already gone. hahah then just like that, your mean updating streak is broken. kinda sad.

oh yah! thank you to zhili jiaqing and shiyi for the booby tissue holder, haha i think i'm gonna hang it up in my room. thanks to the choir people for the topman belt, its really nice (: bet elroy chose it. hahaha. and thank you to you two for the treat yesterday! enjoyed the time spent together more than the food though. puke man haha.

ah well in all national days are getting better each year :D at least no mahjong this year. haha praise god!

=========

pictures pictures!



scuttle the ship! haha.


don't i just look sad. lol.


now i look like i'm anticipating something.


sit down final pose! nice.



clique table!


haha dawn's butt is jutting out. ouch.


we're doing dawn's pignose pose. haha she's distressed.


zha's trademark EEE. at yuting. lol.


marie! haha gonna miss you.


all the cool bags. (cept huping's washboard bag:P) haha.


look at that sexay pose.


wanting shuwei me



retarded round photo. elroy's good. haha.

tagged by YUTING so i have or i choose to do this stupid quiz. here i go here i go.

1. how old do you wish you were?
i don't know. i kinda love my age right now. haha but maybe i'll prefer to be 21 as fast as possible.

2. where were you when 9/11 happened?
erm i remember waking up that morning to see my mum watching the news. she was crying omg! and i was kinda unfeeling bout the whole thing. oh well sad.

3. what do you do when vending machines steal you money?
sometimes i sulk and curse. i don't like to kick machines haha. i'll just go complain to the whoever.

4. do you consider yourself kind?
yes i'm quite kind. or very. hahaha. i'm very nice to all my friends la. RIGHT RIGHT? haha.

5. if you had to get a tattoo, where would it be?
on my back. haha it'll look quite cool.

6. if you could be fluent in any other language (other than english), what would it be?
french! although i took german as 3rd lang in sec 1 and sec 2. was my second choice. french was first. haha.

7. do you know your neighbours?
yes i do haha. basically the one opposite me have their television on for 24 hours. downstairs is the maple story kid and the neighbour whose house is all white. haha right. i basically know everyone around me.

8. what do you consider going on a vacation?
no homework, no stress, just friends, sights and fun! (:

9. do you follow your horoscope?
erm no. i don't really bother. haha god is my horoscope.

10. would you move for the person you love?
yes i will. hahah why not, i give in to the people i like easily.

11. are you touchy feely?
don't quite understand what that means. but i guess no. hahaha.

12. do you believe that opposites attract?
of course. haha. god made it this way.

13. dream job?
erm basically i'm heading nowhere right now la. TOTALLY no idea what i want to do in the future, even after today's career fair. although i wish i could own some big company. or be a radio dj or a celebrity or something. haha.

14. favourite channels?
haha erm i like channel 8 serials. and channel 5! and ESPN cos of the soccer and sportcenter. i don't watch many shows. haha.

15. favourite place to go on weekends?
don't usually go out cos sunday is always church. but church is my favourite place alright (:

16. showers or baths?
baths are nice. last bath i had was in japan last last year! hahaha soak soak.

17. do you paint your own nails?
no obviously not. but my nails got painted on before by some overly-excited females. haha.

18. do you trust ppl easily?
nope. but i've got quite a number of trustworthy friends.

19. what are your phobias?
screwing up my studies. aye.

20. do you want kids?
haha no idea. don't really know how to handle kids right now, though most of them love me (:

21. do you have a handwritten journal?
haha no. can't ever have one cos i would be too lazy to write on it.

22. where would you rather be right now?
i wish i could be in heaven where there's no pain. just god, and happiness. haha.

23. who makes you feel warm and fuzzy?
haha erm that special someone?

24. heavy or light sleeper?
heavy if i want to. haha but usually moderate.

25. are you paranoid?
not really. but erm haha can't help but feel anxious everytime i do something wrong.

26. are you impatient?
nope not really i guess. impatient maybe with parents haha but not with friends.

27. who can you relate to?
churchies and some choir people. love them.

28. how do feel abt inter-racial couples?
ah no comments. haha.

29. have you ever be burnt by love?
i guess? hahah but nothing is exposed.

30. what's your life motto?
do what you love and what is right, and do it for god.

31. what's your main ring tone on your mobile?
er some random ringtone la. haha lost my K750i )):

32. what were you doing at midnight last night?
erm awake online chatting. as usual.

33. who was your last text message frm?
ricer.

34. whose bed did you sleep in last night?
erm mine la then. haha

35. what colour shirt are you wearing?
my thunderhead motorcycle shirt.

36. name three things you have on you AT ALL TIMES.
my chain, my specs and my brain. haha.

37. what colour are your bed sheets?
erm some funny colour. wanna change!

38. how much cash do you have on you right now?
erm 20 bucks left. i'm running out of cash, as usual ):

39. what is your favourite part of the chicken?
haha erm the middle part in btw the wing and the drumstick. the meat there is nice!

40. what's your favourite town/city?
Riva Del Garda in Italy. best memories ever.

41. i can't wait till ...
i finally graduate with good results and university. and settling down in life.

42. who got you on friendster?
can't remember. hahah some friend of mine?

43. what did you have for dinner last night?
erm home cooked food. aunty betty's cooking again, yummy. haha.

44. how tall are you?
1.8 as measured. but looks shorter than that. wonder why. maybe i cheated when measuring. hahaha.

45. have you ever smoked heroin?
nope. not gonna.

46. do you own a gun?
erm no. haha. waste of space, i aint killin anyone.

47. what do you prefer to drink in the morning?
erm haha the warm soya bean milk in vj. whenever george offers to buy.

48. what is your secret weapon to lure the opposite sex?
my sexy lips! hahaha. no la i dunno.

49. do you have A.D.D?
no idea what the hell is that.

50. what time did you wake up this morning?
6.15. haha had to rush AGAIN. sucks.

51. current worry?
my studies.

52. favourite place to be?
italy italy. riva. and church.

53. where would you like to travel?
i wanna go to so many many places aye. i'd love to go overseas with my friends one day, to europe again or usa.

54. what do you think you'll be like in 10-yrs time?
ten years hmmm. hahah can't think so far as yet.

55. last thing you ate?
quarter chicken and ice cream at breeks! aye fattening. i'm supposed to be dieting.

56. what songs do you sing in the shower?
hahah anything that i can sing well. any random song that just pops into my head la. love to sing in the shower man.

57. last person that made you laugh?
choir people haha. we're a funny and horny bunch.

58. worst injury you ever had?
erm slipped on the road in primary school and got a gash? haha scar still on my shin. till now. huge.

59. does someone have a crush on you?
i don't know man. hahaha if you do you've made the right choice. LOL. okay choir just makes me all so shameless.

60. how did you find this quiz?
from yuting. ARGH FINALLY DONE. hahaha. praise god!

=======

choir treat today at breeks! really fun, lotsa laughter and jokes. really enjoyed the company of everyone haha. great clique we have. long time since we all sat down and had a good time, well we got a chance today! anyway its late so i'm off now. haha thank god for everything that's happened today. takkare all you peeps out there!